"It's just comedy"

Post Reply New Topic

Hi:

I had agreed to meet a GOOD friend at a stand up comedy show with some other connections of his which was fun because we ate dinner together first.

Then the comedy show started and I had tried to have a good time but felt like:

1. The comedians seems to use the non-English colorful language in just about every sentence
2. You were allowed to shout things out to the comedians if you want to joke along. I did a few times and found that I got insulted by one of them every time I tried to make a joke.

- He called another guy and I "Chuckie and the Bride of Chuckie." I also made another joke and he shouted, "Shut up Jason."

I nearly started crying and so I just decided to pick up and leave since I did not care for this kind of humor. My friend felt like I was overreacting and maybe I was. Then again, I just don't like humor with nothing but colorful language like that.

He said, "Oh that's just comedy," after I turned to my friend and said that I did like the way that comedian was talking.

Anyway, how do you deal with this sort of comedy and what do you call it?

IMHO the performer's routine was garbage, not worth my time or money. I would've walked out as soon as the insult humor started flowing.

The thing about stand-up comedy is, it's supposed to be an experience. That's what comedians do. Very frequently, that means the audience is part of the act and fair game for jokes, and you would do well to keep that in mind when you catch a show. Experienced comedians train themselves to be as prepared as possible to handle any kind of audience reaction-- particularly heckling. You have to remember, as rough as it might seem to you, being in the audience and having jokes directed at you, the comedian has it worse-- he has to get up on stage, he's got the pressure on him of all the collective expectations of the audience that he will be funny, and he's probably dealt with disastrous negative audience reactions before. What you experienced is honestly a fairly typical response from a stand-up. Some comedians, like Don Rickles, for example, build their whole act on insulting people. The point is to get the audience to loosen up and not take themselves so seriously.

If you don't like "colourful" language... the best thing you can do is try to research the comedian you're considering seeing before you go, if it's possible. I'd say that the majority of established comedians are likely to get colourful at some point during their act, because it usually breaks the ice and it's an easy way to allow them to keep the audience's attention. When I went to see Lewis Black a couple years ago, I knew what I should expect-- he was going to get up on stage, wag his finger and angrily toss expletives at things and people and situations that he found ridiculous. And that's exactly what he did, and it was hilarious.

Oh I thought about it when I woke up today and realized that "Hey, it's nothing more than improv."

As for swearing during comical acts, that is not an excuse. Abusive language is abusive. If I were ever to goof off like that in other settings, others would turn me away. There are other ways to grab your attention than just swearing if you want a good show. Randomness out of the blue is funny.

They also tended to do it way too much last night as well to the point that I could not understand what they were saying.

stand-up is part improv, but there is a (large) prepared part in it too.
comedy is personal as well, even though most of the population shares a large part of their humour (which is why some comedians are very broadly popular), this doesn't mean that you do.
if you think a certain comedian isn't funny, just walk out on him, this should be noones business, just as walking away from a certain band at an open stage night

I gave them a chance but I walked out. Even though he improvised, I still felt insulted when he told me to shut up for messing with the other guy on stage with him.

They were making a joke about the best dressed and then said the best in their under wear. I said, "It's like being on stage and saying, "Just picture them in their underwear."

The first guy said that he liked me but the second one who called me "The Bride of Chuckie" told me to shut up.

I don't handle rudness in any form. And rudness in comody is intelectualy insulting to me.

I want to have a laugh, not swearing. I can get that in any street pub.

People like Rodney Rude, even the comody they put on TV, makes me mad as hell. I can't watch any of it.

You know what? My friend who invited me apologized later and also realized that the show was full of foul mouthed comedians and agreed with me that the guy who told me to "Shut up," was a pretty mean comedian.

I do not understand why you would continuously shout out your own "funnies" if it was not received as you wished it to be.

I was trying to get into the mood since it was a new setting and it just did not work for me. Lol

Just thinking it is pretty much the last thing I would do in a setting like that

You overreacted, but hey whatever. There are too things that come to mind when he told you to shut up. 1: He probably viewed you as a heckler and as someone who was not adding to the show. or 2: He was joking. Next time, maybe a little research on your end would be good. Figure out who the comedian is and if this is someone you'd like to see perform first. If there isn't much or any of their material out there to know, maybe try going anyways, but don't get too loud during their show. By the way, what was this guy's name?

The reason your friends reacted negatively was that you were spoiling their fun by showing your hurt there and then. They had paid to have fun in a fun atmosphere, you cheated them of their money. This is a serious social transgression (one of the unwritten rules in society). Social people are expected to swallow it and not show upset, then next time your friends suggest going to see this group perform, you happen to have to baby sit your grandmother so you can join them for dinner only. Then, if your friends appreciate you a lot, they'll start figuring by themselves why you didn't come (without calling you on the lie) and will respect your choices, maybe even start seeing things more your way.

One possibility why the people on stage may have found YOUR contributions unwelcome and not those of others could be that you were, unknowingly, spoiling his manipulation of the audience. Sometimes aspies contribute that the emperor is nude and spoil the act. I mean manipulation not necessarily with bad intent - illusion as entertainment, for example, is manipulation for the sake of entertainment.

I think both cases of reacting negatively to you that you experienced that evening have a common denominator - the direct, spontaneous, oblivious, bull-in-china-shop behavior that we neurologically-different people have in relating due to our lack of social intuition (aka theory of mind).