Bad Advice

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Have you ever taken advice from people about how to socialise only to find out that on trying it it made things worse and you ended up getting into trouble for it?

Yes. A "friend" convinced me to try to get back together with an ex, which failed miserably and he rejected me. In hindsight, taking advice from this particular girl wasn't a good idea; she'd just gotten engaged and was still feeling euphoria from that. And she also didn't have enough information or context.

Yes, some individuals told me to do things, and thinking that they had good intentions, I believed them. The problem is, they never had good intentions...Not seeing that wasn't good. Bad people have gave me lot of problems.

I can pretty much guarantee that if anyone gives me unsolicited advice that I will regret acting on it.

Specially I will no longer take advice from friends whose outlook on life is completely different to mine as they will give advice based on what works in their lifestyle which will never work for me. I bitterly regretted going out with this guy back in my early twenties on the urging of my friend. I would never have gone out with him if she didn't pester me and then when I did and when it turned out I really didn't fancy him all that much, I didn't know how to break up with him PLUS I was worried about upsetting my friend. The whole thing ended up rather badly and I won't go into details but it was my own fault for not being brave enough to stand up for myself and wanting to be accepted socially.

Oh goodness. In college I had a therapist who tried to get me to be more social. She told me to try going to a bar. I got all dressed up, but must have chosen the wrong day/time. I walked up to the door and a bunch of elderly people looked up at me. Picture me, twenty-six at the time (but I'm small and invariably look much younger), walking into senior night at the bar. I was mortified and walked away without going in.

She told me to try to find a gay or lesbian friend...I guess she thought I needed to connect with someone else who was also not straight. I posted a request on an informal school website. Someone left nasty comments because I was looking for a gay friend instead of any old person for a friend. Someone responded and we started chatting...but I had absolutely nothing to say. She must have gotten bored and left the chat rather quickly.

When I finally started dating someone, the therapist said to try alcohol to deal with my anxiety. I don't drink alcohol and had no idea how much to have to get relaxed. Before my date, I bought some wine, had a couple sips and felt nothing. Then I had a gulp and was promptly quite tipsy and said something crazy to my date (fortunately, she didn't really mind).

Taking advice on how you should deal with the world, from a person whose brain does not perceive the world through the same lens that yours does, is always a bad idea. How can they tell you how to do something, when they can't see exactly what you're seeing?

They have no real conception of what you are and are not capable of.

It's sorta like a normal person talking to someone on the phone (who unbeknownst to them is a paraplegic) and trying to give them instructions on how to do Jumping Jacks. "No, seriously, man, it's easy!"

Yeah, you'll get good advice in life and bad.