OK, so I didn't know how to word the title properly. I guess I'm still just thinking over it too much.
It's silly really. I was told by someone that after a gig he played at he was looking for me to have a drink. I was shocked, but then I realised, yes of course, people usually do have drinks and a bit of a chat after the show.
But it never occurred to me that it would be something I would do.
Because I didn't do it I just completely erased this fact from my mind.
And now it's all I can think of and all the silly insecure thoughts I have about these 'getting to know you' sessions.
It just reminded me yet again about how behind I am in social skills.
I'm probably not going to see this person for another 2 months. 2 months to think over being invited to this next level of social communication. I'm thinking over this too much.
The night was pretty fun for me. Something else that happened unexpectedly. I got to talk a little to three members of the band before the show, then I saw them after and said my goodbyes, and I thought that was going up one step in my social progress.
I suppose it's a big deal to me because I secretly want to be in this social group of musicians and that sort of happened that night. I still had my usual inability to speak up during a group chat (I was also in a daze that I was standing with the band while they were involved in group chat - it was a great honor for me) but tried not to get down about it. Then after, one of them actually sought me out for a one-on-one chat.
Oh God, I sound like such socially defunct nerd. I suppose I am.
Anyway, I just had to write this down. It was driving me crazy.
Thing is, I know that things like this hardly occur to social people. If they miss out on having a chance to chat with someone (like my drummer friend did) they have a whole smorgasbord of people to choose out of to have a chat with, while the less socially successful (me) and especially when they often just get fixated on one person at a time, goes for the daily specials, and might nitpick their order a bit, i.e has intolerance to citrus, chili, so not every meal is going to be desirable. I also tend to order the same meal over and over.
And then the analogy just didn't seem to end...
You know what I mean though? Social people are have many opportunities to talk to people, and many people at that, but someone like me doesn't often get that chance and prefers a certain sort, and now that missed opportunity constantly plagues my mind. I can barely get back into my own solitary interests.
With time I will probably get better but what a contrast in reactions to such a silly little common thing.
Hopefully, someone here relates and I'm not just crazy and obsessional. Well, I am that too...
07 Dec 2013, 9:00 pm
