Handling situations that would be awkward even for an NT

Post Reply New Topic

Like a lot of other people here, I'm pretty stoic when I'm around people I don't know well or know in a professional setting. On the other hand, there are the moments where I'm not like that at all--in fact, I go the opposite way, mostly when I'm around family. But at the beginning of the year I got into a conversation with someone at work I hardly know, and I got really animated and talkative--it was about one of my special interests. He began to be more polite to me, but we never had any conversations after that.

My coworker left the company in June, and today I received an e-mail out of the blue from him--he thought I had a crush on him or something, because the way I acted that one day was so "out of the normal" for me--and would I "hang out" with him sometime? This is so awkward that I'm sure it would be awkward even if I was neurotypical. I’d never really paid that much attention to this guy before. He sounds a bit narcissistic, to be honest, and I don't know how to respond; if I should, even. It’s like he’s only asking me to “hang out” (such a vague term, to be honest) because he thinks I like him. The whole situation is bizarre, really.

But has anyone else experienced something like this? Just, something so awkward that even an NT might not know how to handle it properly?

That doesn't sound too complex to me -- just bin the email and forget about him. (Weird that he waited all this time, but I don't suppose you'll ever find out why).

If you want awkward try this: My mother has sworn to physically eject my uncle from her mother's (i.e., my grandmother's) funeral, because he sexually abused my sister when she was a child. How on earth do you even begin to deal with that prospect? And it's going to happen one of these days -- gran is in her late 80s.

I almost found myself in the same situation but from the man's point of view. This co-worker of mine rendezvous with me at the Mall one day. She wanted to thank me for standing up for her when people were being disciplined and fired left and right from this nursing home where we both worked.

I was surprised she met with me because I had already left the job and moved on to someplace else.

After we rendezvoused, I thought about the whole event a lot. She'd asked me out. Was there something else I should've inferred from this? Did she want to see me more often? I mean, how often does a girl ask a guy out and give him a $50 gift certificate to a store.

I wrestled with the notion of calling her for months but I never did. I don't know. I thought that was kind of odd.

LucySnowe: The guy is interested in going out with you. If you are not interested in him, just ignore his email.

CharityFunDay: Definitely take your mother's and your sister's side in this issue. If you want to avoid a scene at the funeral, do tell your uncle not to attend the wake or funeral, and instead he should go to his mother's graveside after everyone else has left. Remember, your uncle chose to make himself a pariah by molesting your sister, so the onus is definitely on him, not on your mother. Remind your uncle that actions have consequences. People who do evil put themselves outside the tribe. There is no way to fix or undo what he did. Don't be surprised if he denies what he did. Molesters often do. Molesters very often are repeat offenders. They often try to deny, or justify their abuse. Never let him be alone with kids, as he may do it again.

RedRobin62: It sounds like the co-worker wanted to thank you for helping her. It's too hard to tell if she was also looking for a platonic or a romantic friendship. Since you weren't interested in either, it doesn't matter.

Based on this post response, maybe I should get a job like Dear Abby or Ann Landers. lol

I think it is rude to just ignore that email. If it were me, I'd appreciate a note saying that you sometimes can't stop talking about certain subjects, and he was just a handy target that day. There's always a chance that either he shares an interest, and/or is actually a nice guy who is looking for a win-win.

Most situations NTs can't handle properly. These situations (and many other types of situations too) are just more stressful for me because of anxiety and panic attacks. But that doesn't mean NTs are all superhumans who are social experts and don't get stressed or worried about anything. NTs have thoughts and feelings too, as what is always said on Autism forums.