Interacting with former co-workers at a funeral

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Hi:

I most recently received news that the step-son former a co-worker at a recent company where I used to work passed away last weekend. I had been laid off at that company nearly two years ago. I had seen all but one co-worker who I got along with since then. As for the others, I really have not seemed to connect with them as most of them seemed to know each other from the past. Then they said or acted inappropriately in response to my inappropriateness. Anyway, I most recently wrote a letter to the former boss to let them know that I was disappointed in how they handled my situation. I did not call them any names or really openly accuse but rather went to the point that certain things that had been bothering me.

Anyhow, I am planning to attend the funeral and it is going to be really awkward and I am afraid that the others are going to start sneering and jeering at me. So, how do I assert myself with them?

As for the people who lost their son, they were one of the nicest co-workers who I met. I am really going to see them and not the others even though I know I have to be respectful.

Your last sentence shows that you know what's truly important. You want to be there to support your friend who lost their son. That's all that really matters.

Funerals can be awkward; I haven't been to many that weren't, in one way or another. They often bring together a group of people who have issues with &/or feel uncomfortable about some of the others there. However, this is common, so I'm fairly sure your other co-workers will have been raised to know how to behave politely in this situation. If not, they'll be the ones looking weird ~ as long as you keep it pleasant and neutral. Which shouldn't be too difficult, as, in most cultures, it would be improper to show any negative feelings about other funeral attendees during the event. Which everyone knows, so they won't be attacking you in any way, due to the cultural agreement that at a funeral it's just, you know, a little smile, nod, look away, move on. Mumble a little something if need be.

Anyone who acts like a jerk to another person at a funeral is really going to appear very rude themselves.

Most people understand to leave other things at the door. If they do something it risks a major upset for the family. They won't realistically do anything at all except try to be on their best behavior.

About 4 years ago, I attended a funeral for someone who was a leader of an adult Asperger's support group. One of the other attendees and I were having conflicts at the time which we are not now. When it came to chatting online, we had no problem. It was because they thought I was too fragile for them did not want to hurt me along with having a low tolerance for a hyperactivity.
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As for this funeral and people avoiding someone, I think I will be the avoider even though I will be polite to them and talk to other people. I will also have a new friend with me.

I think that if they decide to bring snide drama to a funeral, it will be them people look down on.

And for these immature, bullying co-workers maybe have a general wildcard statement ready, such as "It's a sad day." and whatever they say, it's appropriate to say that.

And for the family, if you find yourself in some kind of receiving line, perhaps just a simple "I'm sorry for your loss."

After my grandmother died in 2001, a neighbor tried to lay some philosophy on me. And it was just too much. It made it very awkward.

Thanks for the advice. I am not as nervous now. I think me bringing a friend will help a lot. I have taken this person to other events and it made me feel a bit more on the relaxed side.