A Really Epic Social Skills Resource

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I apologize if this information is a repost of any sort.

I am the type of person that actually Googles "how to make friends"; this usually brings up wikihows with general, generic tips, but, sometimes, it uncovers gems.

http://www.succeedsocially.com/allarticles

I have been browsing this website for a while thus far, and I am currently impressed. There are articles on everything from being "too nice," something that I have struggled with myself (which may have been complained about in the "Post Anonymously To Another Member" thread, if my paranoia is correct) , to why it is okay to not be "naturally social" or "normal" to anxiety to making friends at work/university/in the community. I have not read all of these articles, but the ones that I have read seem to be very thorough and well-phrased.

Of interest to this community in particular is "Ways Adults With Asperger's Syndrome Can Improve Their Social Skills". The "Small Talk" article is also rather intriguing and falls under the larger umbrella of "Little Social Annoyances That Will Never Go Away." The "How To Start A Conversation" and "How To Join A Conversation" articles may also be useful.

The author of the website, Chris MacLeod, claims to have once been shy and socially awkward; he also has a B.A. in Psychology and a Master's in Social Work. Yes, he has worked with individuals with autism, ADHD, and developmental differences; no, he does not claim to be neurologically atypical himself (personally, I wonder if he may be on the Broad Autism Phenotype, but I did not know that this man existed until about an hour ago and, thus, have no real basis to make such a conjecture).

I hope that this resource may be of help to anyone who needs it.

It's a great site, some very useful information and an enjoyable read.

However, the author doesn't claim to be exceptional socially himself, just average (from what I remember). Sometimes we need access to information from people who are exceptionally skilled socially, but can explain themselves well and act as a strong bridge to someone with aspergers.

I came across that site a couple of years ago and was also really impressed with it. I remember reading a ton of the articles on there and feeling like they had a lot of really good and useful information in them. I don't remember there being any articles having to do with AS the last time I was on there, which was probably over a year ago. So maybe that's newer content, or maybe I just didn't read it before since it was probably before I really knew a lot about AS and before I suspected it in myself. Anyway, I should go visit that site again as it's been quite a while since I've looked at it.

Just my personal opinion, but I never found succeedsocially.com to be particularly helpful as they kinda just reiterate a lot of the other social skills information out. That being said though I haven't seen it in a while so maybe I'm wrong. They do use Hopper's Nighthawks quite well though

I looked at this site after it was recently mentioned by leafplant in another thread and think it's awesome! There are a few things that set it apart from most advice on social skills:

* It's quite analytical, detailed and specific. As specific as it can be without presuming too much about the reader.
* It's actionable and even gives specific examples of what to say. This makes all the difference between "yeah, would be nice if I could do that, but how?" and "oh, really, so that's what I should have done all along!"
* I don't know if the author is an aspie, but it certainly sounds to me like he's "been there" himself. The author clearly says he wants to help you get from "below average" to "average", not from "average" to "great", which is just what I need. I disagree that we need advice from someone with great social skills. Their advice won't be appropriate for our level. They don't understand what it is that we don't understand.
* It's just explained well. Explaining things well is a rare skill. No doubt other people have told me similar things before, with good intentions, but not in a way that made sense.

There is a good summary at http://www.succeedsocially.com/mainconcepts - start by reading that and see if it grabs your attention.

Really, it seems like 99% common sense when I read it, but it's the remaining 1% that makes the "common sense" make sense to me! For example, I like this (from http://www.succeedsocially.com/sociallife):

I have high standards for friends, but now that I read this, I think it makes a good point: I don't have to be fully compatible with someone just to make an effort to hang out with them. Maybe that person isn't quite worth the effort on their own, but through them I'll meet someone who is or at least get out of the house when I otherwise wouldn't. Sounds kind of obvious - in retrospect.