Will we become friends?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi, here's a NT looking for some advice about AS and friendship .

I've known this colleague of mine for about three years, he shows up at work only twice a week, sometimes we have met out of work , with other colleagues, for some drink or so.

We seem to get along well and talk about some interests in common. Since the building where we work is huge, I told him where he can find me if he wants to talk to me on a coffee break , and we do this on a regular basis once a week as he meets me there.

I didn't give him specific instructions on where to find me for the same purpose on the other day he shows up at work , and on these days he hasn't ever looked for me nor he has told me where to locate him, whereas I know he speaks randomly to others ,so I am confused .

I would like to talk more and sometimes I miss him, but I know I shouldn't be intrusive.

Should I tell him I would like to be friends, or do I have to assume that he isn't interested, otherwise he would always look for me?

don't take it personal. it is just a social blunder. his mind is on other things. interaction can be difficult, and confusing.

Okay, so let me rephrase what you said: He speaks to you once a week at a time and place you agreed on. Does it seem like he doesn't enjoy these meetings? If so, he's not interested. If he enjoys them (or at least gives no indication to the contrary), why would you assume that he's not interested?

The question then seems to be: interested in what? I get the impression that for you this is about more than just talking, but might it be that when you say "friendship" you really mean that you are developing romantic feelings for him?

It almost seems like jealousy when you expect him to talk to no one other than yourself at work. Maybe the solution is not to monopolize him at work, but to ask him out on a date outside of work - without other colleagues present?

Another way of looking at this could be his thinking is so black and white that if you don't initiate, he thinks you do not want to meet him.

I thought this post was directed at me! Hehe. Anyone else's feelings hurt? Thewhitrbbit might have something but I think should listen to Fnord. I like Fnord.