How to handle unavoidable socialization?

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RikkiK
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20 Sep 2014, 7:33 pm

I've spent a lot of time with my roommate since we're both new to my uni, but today i think I just burnt out from trying to meet people all week and be socially responsive with her, and I got sort of snippy with her. Unfortunately, I'm already committed to accompanying her to some sorority recruitment outing tomorrow (she didn't want to go alone), and afterward some old friends are getting together for the first time in a long while. I can't just bail on either. And then, I might end up in even more social situations than usual during the rest of the upcoming week.
How do I handle it? I don't want to be a grouch at any of the things, but I feel a bit burnt out tonight. Any advice? At least I can spend Monday at home alone for most of the day.



little_blue_jay
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20 Sep 2014, 7:36 pm

Fake having a migraine?

Fake having cramps?


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RikkiK
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20 Sep 2014, 8:36 pm

I do that all the time :/ they are good friends....and my roommate will be so pissed because i spent so long trying to decide whether i would go or not.....



Claradoon
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20 Sep 2014, 10:06 pm

I can hardly think of a worse fate than to be paired with somebody who doesn't want to do things alone. And you'll always be available, from her way of seeing things, right? Can you switch roommates? Wouldn't it be lovely to rooming with someone more like yourself? Failing that, maybe you can negotiate with her. She wants X amount of your time - perhaps you should want an equal amount of your own time to yourself. You have a right to it. You can't go through life as somebody's automatic companion - it's not fair. Nip this one in the bud if you can.



1024
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21 Sep 2014, 7:32 am

If you are friends, I think it's the best to tell them that you don't like to go out much. They probably accept it. If not friends, just decline.


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diniesaur
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21 Sep 2014, 1:32 pm

Explain to her that you're burnt out on social interactions and you just need a break for a while--that it's nothing personal, but something that a happens to almost every Autistic person at some point. Explain that it could end up being really dangerous for you to overstimulate yourself with all these people because you may end up having a panic attack (even if, inside, you don't really think you would...I know it's dishonest but sometimes that's the only way to have people understand why you need to bail on some commitments without seeming like an ass).

Maybe try to help find her someone else she can go with--possibly from the friends who'd be getting together after?



Chikiloo
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21 Sep 2014, 4:12 pm

She's just your roommate. It's ok to simply say no thank you. People are not waiting for an explanation. If they are, they are the exemption. If your must explain, say you're meeting friends later and need to rest a bit before that, because you're kind of tired. It's totally ok to say this/feel this way. Like completely. If she doesn't understand, that's ok too. Don't be too hard on yourself, get to know your rhythms and be your lovely self. It's fine.



ASD_Geek
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11 Oct 2014, 1:03 pm

Definitely don't over extend yourself. Make sure that your roommate knows what you can and cannot do and don't feel bad because you have/need to say, "No."

It's OK to think of yourself first when your health matters.