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Jamesy
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02 Oct 2015, 12:27 pm

My friend said to me when I asked him about being bullied he said "do you want me to be honest with you". I then said "yes" and he responded "it's because you do look like a weakling"

How was he trying to help with that comment do you think?



League_Girl
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02 Oct 2015, 2:10 pm

When people ask if they can be honest with you, what they really mean is "can I insult you?"

But sometimes it does literally mean "can I be honest" and they tell you something constructive without belittling you and putting you down so it's best to never take that question literal unless it's someone you trust like your therapist or a good friend. Then you know they really mean it.

I don't know what your friend meant you being a weakling or why he said it or if he was trying to be insulting. Is he trying to help you in a sense that you should toughen up and work on looking tough so people will stop bullying you or how you should stop giving a darn what they say to you?


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kraftiekortie
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02 Oct 2015, 2:13 pm

Try to make yourself stronger. Participate in sports. Life weights.

Exercise. Walk/run.



nurseangela
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02 Oct 2015, 3:00 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Try to make yourself stronger. Participate in sports. Life weights.

Exercise. Walk/run.


I think Mr K is right. This is what he meant. He is prob thinking that he hates to see you get bullied, but you also don't do anything to solve the problem.


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nerdygirl
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03 Oct 2015, 9:54 pm

I think your friend was just trying to explain the truth about you being bullied based on the way he sees it. He was being honest in the best way he knew how, because you said you wanted to hear it. I would not take his comment as an insult, but as constructive criticism.

His honesty can be a great help to you. You can ask him what you can do about it. KraftieKortie has already made some good suggestions. Maybe your friend would help you achieve those goals by being a workout partner.

Through the years, I've wished for friends that would be brutally honest with me, yet at the same time STICK BY ME. There are those who are brutally honest and mean about it, and ditch you for not being good enough. But the friend who tells it like it is but won't leave you is a keeper.