Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

PhoenixFalcon
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 68
Location: Earth

14 Oct 2015, 2:30 pm

I met this girl at a weekly meet-up I attend at my college, who I'm guessing might have autism based on some of her behavior. I wish to possibly become friends with her, but I'm not sure how to get to know her. What should I do?


_________________
Arriving by goat doesn't violate school policy!


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

16 Oct 2015, 9:27 am

In your group, have you discussed any particular topic. Perhaps discuss it with that girl? Maybe make a comment about the weather before saying Hi to her.



The Cat Ghost
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Sep 2015
Age: 44
Posts: 60

16 Oct 2015, 6:15 pm

Next week, if she says anything to the group then say something afterwards like "hey there, I really like what you said about X" and then just go from there. Then maybe suggest an adventure if she seems like she is being nice to you. Something like maybe "I noticed there is a pool table in the lounge. Can you believe I've actually never played pool? I hear you're a pool master and you should totally teach me".

If she is indeed on the spectrum this approach may not work, however. In my experience, NT ladies of university age absolutely love doing light-hearted ridiculous stuff if it sounds fun.

Or, go with the always-good and disarming "hey, I'm new and I don't know a lot of people, want to grab a drink and chat at the university pub?".



seaweed
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2015
Age: 31
Posts: 1,380
Location: underwater

16 Oct 2015, 11:57 pm

I can't speak for her but as a college age girl with aspergers I'm most receptive to the "slow and steady" approach. for instance, make eye contact and smile once, then say hi to her in passing the next week. week after ask her a nonassuming question, like "do you have the time?" or "do you have a pen I could borrow?". then later on if she seems comfortable enough, ask her a question about herself, possibly in regards to the focus of whatever group meeting you two are in, and see if she reciprocates. continue getting to know each other from there. these are just examples, but I think a very slow and casual build up in making friends on the spectrum is a good thing.



Drawyer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 May 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,860
Location: Away

17 Oct 2015, 12:09 am

seaweed wrote:
I can't speak for her but as a college age girl with aspergers I'm most receptive to the "slow and steady" approach. for instance, make eye contact and smile once, then say hi to her in passing the next week. week after ask her a nonassuming question, like "do you have the time?" or "do you have a pen I could borrow?". then later on if she seems comfortable enough, ask her a question about herself, possibly in regards to the focus of whatever group meeting you two are in, and see if she reciprocates. continue getting to know each other from there. these are just examples, but I think a very slow and casual build up in making friends on the spectrum is a good thing.
^ this.
And another one, sit close to her..like next / in front of / behind..whenever possible.


_________________
"Embrace the glorious mess that you are."


starfox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,039
Location: UK

22 Oct 2015, 1:45 am

Sometimes if you talk to her she might be okay talking back but sometimes maybe she might walk away. Don't be offended though because some people with aspergers find college overwhelming socially and feel uncertainty if someone approaches them. Well I do.


_________________
We become what we think about; since everything in the beginning is just an idea.

Destruction and creation are 2 sides of the same coin.