giving up on social media....FB!

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I keep my FB friends list very short. Mostly family, but a few neighbors, old friends.

So, a cousin of mine had a BD on March 2 (fwiw-she's not a blood cousin, my aunt/uncle adopted her). I wished her HB on her timeline, with the rest of her friends. She saw my wish, and "liked" it. My BD was March 3-the very next day. She was on FB and posted some things on her wall on 'my' BD, March 3. Do you think that she wished me a HB? Nope. Now that I think about it, she snubbed me last year, same scenario, too.

Another cousin, she's actually a 3rd cousin, is always in beauty pageants, she's 18. I always 'like' her beauty pageant pictures that she posts..and I wish her HB's too. She was logged on yesterday. Did I get a HB from her? Nope.

A neighbor across the street, whose 3 kids have spent 1/5 of their life at MY house, playing on our game consoles, eating our food, I have taken them all on a plethora of fun things with us, bought them lunches, fed them lunches here at our home. They don't have a TON of $...I have given them things that I didn't need, free. You name it, the list goes on. The woman, the mother, who actually just wrote a book on 'friendship' (how ironic?!), has NEVER posted on my FB wall, and you know what? She did not, either, wish me a HB yesterday. She does, however, post things and 'likes' things on other, mutual friends FB pictures/comments, etc...ppl she hardly ever sees and who have not treated her children as well as I have...I get the shaft. Them? They get her likes, comments. I cannot figure this out. It baffles me.

Last example, but I could go on...my 21yo niece, did not either. I have given her some very nice gifts for HER BD's, Christmas. In fact, just LAST month, I sent her a very nice BD gift at her dorm in college. She did text me a thank you, but she is one of my FB friends. You guessed it, she did not, either, wish me a FB HB.

I have to add, all of the above persons were actually 'on' their FB pages yesterday. So, it's not like they 'didn't know' it was my BD. FB makes sure that each person knows when their friends' BD's are.

I might sound petty. But, this is one reason I think I have Aspergers. I fixate on this stuff. Humanity is very complex and unfair. I am constantly shunned by others.

I just want to 'get' ppl, but I just do not. I try to be kind, wishing HB's to ppl, especially ones who seem interested in me on FB, or especially ones who have wished ME a HB in the past.

For example, my one cousin whose BD was the day before mine, if I were her, and 'she' wished 'ME' a HB, I would NEVER just totally ignore hers the next day.

It is hurtful to me.

It seems to me that those who are rude or difficult, get the most appreciation, respect. Ppl do not seem to respect me. Am I too nice? Too innocent? I just don't know any more.

I'll tell you one thing, it has definitely hardened me somewhat, as I have grown older. Which is sad. Because that person is not me.

Anyone understand this or where I am coming from?
Thanks.

to paraphrase Jung, "people can be terrific disappointments."

This isn't in any way to minimise what you're feeling, but just perhaps to add another perspective.

Facebook isn't THAT clear about when your friends are celebrating their birthdays.

An issue with me is that as much as I do care, I just don't 'think' about other people. They can tell me what's going on in their lives and I'll forget to ask for updates. I am useless at remembering the birthdays of even family members, along with other special occasions. I simply don't remember to think about these things. You would think that FB does a good job of reminding people, but honestly it doesn't. Often it's the small line in the top right-hand corner that I forget to check each day. For people with more than a few friends on FB, there's also some kind of drowning out effect. I have a lot of acquaintances on FB - people whose lives I'm interested in, that I've known in the past, and acquaintances that I need to be in touch with regularly, as well as my friends. In total I have 332 people listed on FB, many of which (as much as I enjoy looking at their status updates and seeing what they're up to), I never talk to. There are always people posting updates and always birthdays listed - I can't keep track of them all, and it's more effort than it should be to notice the 'important' birthdays in amongst the birthdays that are being celebrated by people that I don't speak to.

Then, every year my birthday rolls around and I get Happy Birthday messages from some people, and I feel guilty knowing that I inevitably miss theirs year after year. A lot of friendships with me probably seem very one-sided, admittedly.

So, whilst it may have been a deliberate act, I wouldn't want you to be getting upset thinking you were ignored when, in reality, it could just be that they have a number of friends and acquaintances on FB and they just didn't notice.

ETA: Often, if I do wish someone a Happy Birthday on FB, it's because it's been made obvious to me. Primarily when that person writes a status saying "Thanks for all of the birthday messages!" or posts pictures of their birthday day out. That might be something to do in future if you would like to know how much of it is deliberate - really make it clear that you're celebrating!