Conversational expectations are all one-sided

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When I have to socialise people start off on a conversation about reality TV or sport or something else which I have no interest in, and I am expected to join in with this conversation. If I can't or don't want to, people think I'm being rude or am in a bad mood. But nobody ever starts a conversation about my interests. If I tried to start a conversation about Nintendo games or computer programming or Minecraft then people would look at me strangely and seem to have no idea what to say. They probably find my conversation as boring as I find theirs.

So why is it that I am expected to hold a conversation with other people about what they are interested in, but they don't show any interest in what I like and don't maintain a conversation with me about my interests?

I've been thinking about this some more today and it's making me angry. It's like other people don't value my interests but expect me to value theirs. Why is that?

I agree, it can be terribly frustrating.

Another aspect of this which also annoys me is the way that if I do tell people about some of my interests, they often make so many assumptions about what other things will interest me. For example, if I mention that I enjoy computer coding, they seem to immediately launch into a conversation about the latest Star Wars or comic book character movies, or assume that I must be an avid viewer of The Big Bang Theory or Doctor Who. I have no interest in those things at all, and I don't associate them in any way with my interest in programming or science.

The one that annoys me the most though, goes something like this...
"Which soccer team do you support".
"I don't, I don't follow sports."
"Ah, so you're a Rugby fan then...."
"No, I just don't like sports."
"Oh, I get it, so it's cricket you're into..."
...ad infinitum...
Is it really so hard to believe that a person could have no interest in any sports at all? Really?

This has been a problem of mine since I was a teenager. No one wants to hear me go on and on about my favorite scenes from cartoons or video games but it's okay for them to go on and on about whatever it is they're interested in, and they accuse *me* of having one-sided conversations. For years they tried to make me into something I'm not instead of realizing that would end in dismal failure or only minimal and/or temporary success.

Well that's their problem, not mine. If they can't accept me for being me, then forget them.
anyway, this isn't as big of a problem for me as it used to be since I'm hardly around more than one or two people anymore.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this.

Are there certain topics of conversation that all newts enjoy talking about? It seems like they all want to talk about work, the weather, 'celebrities', reality TV, cars, their health or their family. Anybody who doesn't want to talk about those subjects and wants to talk about something else seems to be seen as weird or rude or deliberately trying to disrupt the conversation or make people feel uncomfortable.

I don't see how talking about somebody you don't know who is famous for no reason is more interesting than, say, talking about using completion blocks to serialise normally synchronous tasks in computer programming. Or talking about the new Star Fox for Wii U. Or asking to see what I have built in Minecraft.

The only thing people every talk to me about which is within my interest is my tattoos. And in those situations they're not usually very respectful, sometimes touching or grabbing my arms without asking first.

I can understand your comment about people assuming you like things based on your other interests. I think there is a collection of interests which are all assumed to be 'geek' interests, and if you like one then people assume you like all of them. And we're the ones who have inflexible thinking???! !!

Now would be a great time for one of the allistic forum members to chime in, because I'm as clueless as the rest of you and I would love to know why people do this and how this kind of thing works between two allistic people in a conversation with each other.

And to make it worse, if I do finally find someone at a party etc. who really does want to talk at length about politics, science, religion etc., inevitably someone will come up and tell us both to "chill out" because they don't want any "conflicts" to spoil the party. It's called a "debate", and it's something that some of us really enjoy, and can manage perfectly well without ending up punching anyone.

I'm autistic also, but the way I handle conversations like this is to try and learn about the topic. So, like, if it's about some sport, I'll say I know little about it, but then try and think of some relevant fact about the sport (I have a lot of trivia rattling around me). Then I will ask the person questions about the sport, like what team do they support? Is the team doing well? That sort of thing. Treat it as an opportunity to find out why the person is so interested in this topic and why they want to tell you about it.

Then again, on the other side I am terribly apologetic about bringing up my interests, probably as a result of having some bad experiences when I gave impromptu lectures to people, so I'm not saying I'm an expert or anything.

^^ Hehe, never heard that one before, great!

Along similar lines, though, I always liked the Bonzo Dog Dooda Band song, Sport (The Odd Boy).

The only suggestion I have ever gotten is to "fake it". That is just too draining for me and feels so wrong, I can't bring myself to do it. I've tried it in the past and have ended up settling on the "friends" that I have made. It usually always turns out bad where I end up more miserable and lonelier than I would have been by myself. Maybe it works for some people, but for me it doesn't. I am kind of at a point now where I just say what I feel like saying, they either accept it or they don't and we either realize we get along or we don't. Guess you could say I put them to the test on my own terms.