Abruptness?

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Hi,

First, please let me make it clear that I am not a diagnosed aspie. I did self diagnose a few months ago but it's not something I really carry with me or focus on. Also I'm a little drunk and upset so feel free to flame me at your leasure. Not a good start. Anyway...

Are you ever accused of being abrupt? Do you get the impression that you offend people without realising it? Do they withhold from you?

I don't speak to people much outside of work. I have a modest IM contact list and generally I find that people aren't very interested in talking... I do my best to be agreeable and interesting but it's rare (seems increasingly so) that a conversation will go anywhere. Most of the people on my list are sort of semi NT, but there seems to be massive areas of conversational topic that are just unacceptable to most people.

Most people seem to freewheel along in life largely unaware of the intricicasies they are engaged in. Perhaps I'm turning something relatively simple into a science here, but I can't help but wonder if my social instincts are f****d*. The problem with this is that it seems to go beyond reading cues and facial expressions into a god damn sixth sense... I see a shrink and while he doesn't discard the possibility that I have asperger's he doesn't suggest it either, basically preffering to leave it up to me... Well whatever... I only really think about the aspergers thing when times are rough.

Anyway, I hope everyone else is having a better Friday night than I am. If you got this far, did it hurt?

Mashi.

Makes sense. Apart from being drunk, I can realate to everything. Sounds like a fairly typical AS related problem to me. Social cues do seem to require a sixth sense and we don't have any option but to scientifically analyze social situations.

Yeah, basically. Yet somehow people expect to find a resolution by BSing themselves and each other.

Yes, but too much talking on a deeper level is just way too much. It's all about balance.

I'm abrupt when i'm drunk and when i'm not. I try to control myself in situations though.

I think what you mean is if we frequently do inappropiate interuptions in conversation?

I do that all the time, which has a tendacy to kill the conversation frequently.

I find I am not so often rude as just TOTALLY saying the wrong things. And I tend to talk a lot and have a hard time listening in return. I think I wear people out if they don't wear me out first. People often have to take me in samples rather than an entire seven course meal all at once.

I also find that I am a bit too candid in what I say to people, usually very open with certain NT private issues, and this catches people off guard many times. Oh well. As long as they don't hate me, I guess I'm doing alright.

I've been beginning to wonder if perhaps its not so much that Aspies are worse at social stuff, only that they are 'different' at it.

For example I find that my family (all NT) often talk about other people when that person isn't there, which I find rather embarassing and rude. Also they tend to ask people all sorts of questions which I would consider personal and impolite.
In fact I had to leave the dinner table earlier this evening for just this reason- we had guests around (an engaged couple) and my family were asking them all sorts of questions that made me feel awkward and embarassed.

Its just that... whenever my family talks about things it always seem to be gossipy. Its always "so and so did this today, and oh did you hear what SHE said!", etc etc

I don't tend to talk about other people unless I'm directly involved somehow, because it is usually none of my business.

Girly gossip really makes me sick to my stomach. Bah!



And I just sit and listen silently, and try really hard not to shake my head in pity.