I'm not sure what to make of this

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Yea so, I met this dude at the thrift store as a result of selling some hand made goods to him. After I gave him my card he contacted me right away. It was pretty clear to us both that we liked anime and games and pretty well had that in common. So we talked over the span of a few days while I got his "orders" ready for him. My mom thinks he has a crush on me which might be so. Before I got with the last dude I dated the conversations kinda reminded me of that. Typical nerdy dude likes anime and games BIG time and runs into female bodied individual who happens to like anime and games as well and possibly to the greater extend(being the fact I've cosplayed, collect figures, art books, etc).

Granted its not that easy for an adult anime fan over the age of 21 to even meet people who share that common line of interest. 9 times out of 10 when I meet someone who's an anime fan I find out that they're about 16 or 17 and I don't feel comfortable being a 26 year old adult corresponding with someone's teen child. I know what my mom thought when I was 16 and a 22 year old man joined the anime club with another 20 year old dude so I would assume most parents to pretty much think the same thing. He's only a year behind me and will be 26 this year but here's where things get complicated.

I found out he has a child, a young daughter(don't know how old). After semi elaborating to me the details of the failed relationship and then going into how difficult it is to be a "single father" I'm kinda between a rock and a hard place at this time. If he does like me, then continuing to converse with him in this way could mislead him and give him the wrong idea. But totally icing him would be really rude considering the fact that we texted back and forth about anime and games and like I said there are NOT many people in my age range who share that common interest line. I am not looking to date this dude or anyone else and surely I'm not emotionally prepared to play psuedo mother to a child who I don't really know. I'm not close with my kid nieces and nephew so surely that would be borderline hypocritical to pick up with and outsider's kid.

My mom and my brother do think I should ice him though because they said both from experience that you really don't want to get involved with someone who has kids unless you're willing to really put forth an emotional investment which I realize that I don't have. I did not tell mom that I had been talking anime and games with this dude though because she thinks he looks like the type that would "chain you in the basement" and if she knew that she'd reiterate how anime and games are "yet to get me killed".

I have 2 children that live with me. But I would never expect a girlfriend to be near them for a very long time until I knew them as I certainly are not looking for someone to be a mother to them. So I would find it odd if he wanted you to get to know his kid.

But you said it yourself you don't want an emotional investment but you obviously could be friends with him. So it's a little tricky tell him maybe you only want to be friends see what his reaction is? Then if he is making suggestions of seeing you after you tell him this its defiantly time to *ice* him as you put it. (not heard that term before )

Complete his order at least before doing anything at least you will get paid then....

Icing him would be rude.

If you think that you dont want to go further, just state that, tell him you are not interested (or not sure, whatever the case might be).
Honesty is the best course of action in such situations.

Are you not interested in him because he has kids?

Or because you just want a friendship with him?

Given the details of the situation, and if I were putting myself in your shoes, I would say keep a platonic relationship with him, like just being friends but not dating. Like you said before, that he has a kid, he has just come out of a failed relationship, and also you aren't ready for the emotional investment, so I think erring on the side of caution may be a better option overall.

Yea I'd never just ice someone for no reason, I tend to tell people when I'm cutting them loose. Anyway since he hasn't "stated" directly that he liked me its kinda hard to throw that out there. I did leave indirect hints though as for as generally staying to myself and the like.



Both pretty much, kids tend to make situations a bit more complicated. Being the fact that I have 3 siblings that have a different father then my own I kinda know how complex these things are close to home. Also my brother has dated many females with children all to a failed result and of course there always a racial involvement too being the fact that I and my brother are both black.



Well I've definitely learned quite a bit over the past few years. He reminds me of how my ex was when we first met and usually I would have exchanged skype, and cosplay photos and all that kinda stuff. But these days I did not because like I said I don't know where the relationship failed. Maybe he quit the girl I don't know, and if that's so and the chick finds out what I look like, that could be a problem.

My mom told a similar story back when she was young and she dated a guy she worked with. She said his other girlfriend called her on the phone and was about to deliver a baby in 2 months and threatened her and said if she sees her in person she will beat her up and that its "her man" and all this kinda stuff. You know females and all so yea, really on my toes with this one.

I did exchange psn and play jstars yesterday online though. That kinda thing is fine but that's as far as I'll take it just to be on the safe side.