Friend flaking out and changing dates all the time

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What does it mean when a old friend you haven´t heard a word from in 2-3 years suddenly wants to meet you but are impossible to set a date with. To me its been so long that it feels weird to just going to her home and sit in her sofa. There for, I suggest to meet outside in a coffeeshop. She agreed but then rescedule to meet me in 2 weeks instead. The day came and she change the plan again, wanted us to meet on a restaurang in the weekend instead. I ask if we could meet in a restaurang that is a bit more closer to my home because I don´t have a car and it takes ages for me to take me there. Then she change the plan again, said she suddenly had to work. She has been doing this about 4 times now, we haven´t met yet. I have ask her if she wants to meet like just for a walk or something and she says yes and then change. She has no diagnosis what so ever, she have a job and have friends a life that is just all right, she have no problems with depression so I don´t get this.

My question is, why did she reach out to me in the first place if she is impossible to meet? We live about 20 min from each other and she have a car, it would take her about 5 min to visit me but even that is impossible and have to be booked about 2 weeks.

I would just stop putting any effort in to it if she is going to be that way. Next time just tell her to call/text you when she is ready to come by. Like you said she doesn't live that far away, she could just talk to you the day when she decides to come by and you guys can go for a walk or whatever. No sense in planning something so far in advance if she is only 20 minutes away.

Maybe she is dealing with anxiety or something similar?

No matter what the reason is, you guys are not so close that it's worth an awful lot of effort on your part. It was she who reached out to you, you made yourself available, and she's not making it happen. Her problem.

(I have edited this a few times) I didn't read this right before and it just sounds like she isn't interested in you as she once was but doesn't mind saying hello once in a while. It would not hurt to ask her why she started calling you after an 3 year hiatus if she doesn't plan on getting together. It might also be wise to inquire if she is calling because you need her to do something.

Bottom line,she doesn't sound like a friend but rather an acquaintance and especially if you hadn't heard from her in three years.

What were the circumstances under which you stopped speaking? Did you have a fight? Or did you just fall out of touch?

She may keep changing the date for some reason that has not been disclosed, so I wouldn't assume she is intentionally being flaky. Perhaps she is having some other issue that she has not told you about.

I do think it is a good idea to ask her why she chose to contact you after all of this time.

Correction: Is she calling you because she wants something?

The friend sounds like she gets apprehensive before an immediate meet-up. I only say that because I'm guilty of the same thing in the past. A fortnight before I knew I was to meet someone gave me plenty of time, I suppose, to get used to the idea; I would happily chat online with them about what we will get up to when we meet. A day before however and the thought of going out to meet them is suddenly far too much. I'd hastily email them saying something 'came up' - which was always a lie.

There was no big circumstances, for about 2-3 years ago I decided to not contact her anymore to just simply see what will happend with the friendship. And I didn´t hear nothing until now, years later. She has kids, I haven´t so she blame her flakiness a lot on them, but I still feel that she hasn´t changed because she changed plans before the kids too.

Yes, if I hear something from her again, I will ask her why she contact me. I feel it´s a bit odd to make contact with a old friend and then be totally hard to set a date with. This makes me pretty irritated that maybe I wouldn´t answer her at all. I do have a feeling like she was checking on me, like to see if I was in the same postion or if I had changed, like maybe I´m too a single mom, but I´m not, I´m still this complicated person as I was then. She is the one that got old

I had a similar situation with a childhood friend who started losing her interest in me once we both hit puberty because she learned that I was different along with getting into dating. So I was not longer her priority. We didn't speak to each other for nearly 3 years until her mother called us claiming that she was looking for her daughter. After that, she sent her daughter to contact me which I took seriously.

We got together not long after that but she pretty much ignored me the entire time. Other than that, I would attempt to call her and I got the gerbil from her and her mother.

"Can you call back in the next 15 minutes? I (she) is doing such and such."

She also promised to sleep over and led me around by bailing twice and pulling the gerbil on my the third time.

Sounds like she reached out to you based on nostalgic curiosity ...
"Hmmmm, I wonder what my old friend alpacka is up to these days? I haven't heard from her in ages! Think I'll give her a call ... "
So she calls you, satisfies her curiosity that yes you still like her. So her ego gets stroked and she loses interest again.

Sounds like this "old friend" belongs in the past
as perhaps a nice memory,
while you go out and find some
better friends.

Wishing you the best.