Don't Be Eager

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I used to whenever I thought I met someone I connected with be a tad too enthusiastic.

I instead choose to stay in the acquaintanceship zone. It's important not to scare the person off. Also it's important to get to know them better. Observe the person in multiple settings on multiple occasions. Very few people are close friend material.

People get weirded out when you are too eager. Yet, they also get weirded out if you aren't social enough.

But the ones that are, I find, you tend to connect with fairly early on. In the case of my BFF and me, for instance, I think we connected back when we met in person for the first time. And we'd known each other for less than 2 months at that point (we met online). But of course it took way longer than that for our friendship to actually develop to the point where it is now.

Seeing that person more than once and just talking to them at different events, same venues, times etc and just talk about positive things. Later on exchange phone numbers with them and leave one text and let the ball fall in their court.

Right. It usually doesn't get to the phone number stage and with everyone on Facebook....even less so. But your advice is spot and that's what is taught for kids social skills where I work.

I think once people figure out where I am on the social ladder, they run like hell! Who wants to be with someone that isn't going to further their goals- social or career?

Very true.

If one seems too enthusiastic, it might be the death-knell of an incipient friendship.

In my mind, I really want to show my enthusiasm. This is how I am naturally. I, truly, lack a filter.

But I've learned not to seem so enthusiastic....and to seem sort of cold. That makes me really sad.

I don't have time for any of that. Krafty, I'm naturally a lot like you. A happy person but had to cover that. People just want to play games.

People just suck sometimes----don't they?

It makes me furious, say, when my mother doesn't want me to contact my in-laws who have two autistic children. She hasn't exactly "banned me" from doing so---be she strongly discouraged me from doing so.

I want to learn about these kids---and maybe, if I could, be a friend to them.

If I see a woman who looks beautiful, it's hard for me not to tell her that's she's beautiful.

If I see a kid crying, I can't help but want to know why the kid is crying---and try to help that kid not cry. People are sometimes leery of me when I do this.

At work I just keep it business. Most of the extra people that come in to the classroom to work often go off task and have meaningless BS sessions. Truly we would be better off without all these fresh out of college specialists as they create distractions for the students not to mention the flirting they do.