Always the outsider

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Hi:
I wanted to talk about something that has been on my mind and that's in regards to feeling like an outsider. Though I have talked about my frustrations on here for many years, someone just clicked.

First of all, I have people who seem like we get along and still love me. That said, I am never invited to be part of their most inner circle if you know what I mean. Therefore, they don't call or text me to see how I am doing, they don't invite me to major life events, etc. Yet, I always see them on social media or they talk about getting together.

Meanwhile, I am the outsider because it means despite loving me and liking me, I am at the bottom of their list. While understand why, I still find it very hurtful because I would like to be more involved. Yet, I don't want to scold them for this and nor do I want to chase them.

Can relate.

I think I'm just hard work to be around. I like to get deep into things and people don't seem to want to do that. I struggle with what I see as banal conversation and that seems to be most people's comfort zone. I challenge people on their prejudices and lazy thinking - and I really try to do this without being confrontational or judgemental but people in general do not like to be challenged at all.

I've been told I'm intense and serious, which I probably am in company, but I'm actually quite silly. It just takes a looooong time before I'm comfortable enough to be silly in front of people. I think if I could show this silly side a bit more in company I might be more fun to be around but it's like that part of my brain shuts down in company.

So I think that socialising with people who aren't hard work is probably easier and more fun. I feel like I'm tolerated by people, generally, but yes no-one would ever text me and say "Hey, want to catch up/do something?"

I'm an outsider as well.

I've got so used to it that it's normal for me. I kind of like it that way to be honest. I guess it's part of my identity now. I don't know whether tharts right or wrong but it's just the way it is for me.

I have always felt like an outside -- except in the circles of friends I managed to create that consisted of fellow outsiders.

Even when surrounded by people, friends, family, i have always been in my own mind, all my life, an individual, who is disconnected.

It also happens to me; unfortunately that's one of the side effects of having Aspergers. I have found most people don't
differeniate between severe autism and aspergers.

I have periods where I am fine but others I cry about it