Someone who says they want friends

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I am in another forum designed for young adults and one of the threads is about finding friends. I started talking to someone (months ago) , doing my best to engage with their interests until they stopped messaging back.

Since then, they make periodic posts about having no one to talk to.

Since the forum has a major issue with messages (you don't know you have one unless you're online when it's sent), I messaged them again when they were online.

No response but another post about how no one responds back to them and that they are so lonely.

This is not the first person that has done this.

Do these people want friends / people to talk to or do they just want attention / pity party?

I believe there's a few factors likely in play:

They likely don't really know how to maintain a friendship.

They might not view you as suitable for whatever reason.

They're likely used to basking in sympathy when they whine about loneliness, without people really following up.

I've noticed a lot of people on the spectrum (myself included) have a normal desires for friendship, but lack the skills to actually start or maintain friendships. This leads to a cycle of attempting and failing to form connections, only to try and fail again. They get jealous at all the people are succeeding and how effortlessly they appear to be succeeding, withouyt ever thinking to put more effort into the skills that make it work for those people.

They also don't notice all the people who are struggling and failing, just like they are.

We've had people like that over here, but many of them have since left due to eventually being called out by people who tried to be friends with them. If one is constantly complaining about loneliness, but also rejecting all the people who reach out, eventually people stop reaching out.

These social deficits are also typical of people who constantly complain about romantic failings, in my experience. It's the same root cause of not knowing how to proceed when given an opportunity.

I remember over 12 years ago when I was single and lonely I kept pining for a boyfriend, but whenever someone on the forum sent me a PM to suggest I could date them, I ignored them. But it was because I wasn't really interested in dating on an online forum...or someone on the autism spectrum if I'm honest... However I didn't go around complaining that nobody PM'd me, so there's that.

It is a bit awkward when you reach out to people and they reject you but still complain that nobody cares about them. But, like FXE said, maybe they have difficulties with knowing what to do when someone has reached out to them.

But it would be more logical for them to say ''I want friendships but I don't know how to accept any friendships'', rather than ''I want a friendship but nobody messages me even though they do'' (not in those words but it still describes the situation).

Expressing they feel lonely and that they are looking for friendships might really mean they want to find a romantic partner. I have seen this quite a few times on various forums.

Lonely people still have preferences, so if you're not personally compatable with them then they will still feel lonely even after you reached out. Beggars can infact be choosers.
Sometimes though I think low self confidence leads people to be avoidant to avoid rejection. And so they end up back to square one over and over.
I don't often know what to do when I want to befriend someone or date them so I appreciate it when that same person takes charge and shows me what to do. When left to my own devices I end up on my own more often than not. I don't mean to self sabotage, it's not that deep, I just do it wrong or let my anxiety take over and I take a step back. Maybe what that person needs is a more "dominant" personality type to friend adopt them.

^ I think it is usually simpler than that. Let us agree to disagree.