Annoying Person!

Post Reply New Topic

Hello all,

I have a problem, which may seem trivial, but would nonetheless like advice about it. A few years ago I met a girl in church who I seemed to get on really well with, we share similar interests, etc, but I liked her as a friend and nothing more. I heard people complaining about her, saying she was annoying and they couldn't stand her, so I tried to defend her and even got into some arguments with people over it. However, over time she began to irritate me and now it has gotten to the point where I no loner want to go to church because I know she'll be there annoying me.

The reason she is so annoying is because she talks non-stop and constantly bombards me with stupid questions. She also interrupts me if I'm talking to someone else, for example, I was talking to my sister, who I really only see once a week in church, and this girl comes over and says "excuse me, sorry for interrupting, but..." and starts an entirely new "conversation" (read: bombardment of stupid questions). As soon as the church service ends she comes over to me and starts rambling on incessantly, and I think if she keeps it up I'll end up yelling at her.

Some people have suggested she has a crush on me, people she has dropped some not-so-subtle hints, has asked if she could hang out with me during the week, and she sometimes buys me things. I also suspect she may have AS, which made me feel guilty whenever I first began to get annoyed with her. It would go a long way to explain her complete lack of social skills. But at the same time I know that those of us with AS learn what is acceptable and what is not over time, and she also knows that she annoys people with her constant talking, yet she still does it.

I know it may sound petty that I'm annoyed at someone for talking too much, but it is a combination of talking too much, asking stupid questions, interrupting conversations and preventing me from talking to anyone else (granted I don't talk to a lot of people but I don't want all my attention to be taken up by her).

I don't know what to do because I know if she keeps it up I'll blow my top, and I don't want to hurt her feelings.

I also know that I should have patience with her, and I have really tried but she just gets more and more irritating.

As an older Aspie, I can share what happened to me when I was very much like that girl. I kept butting into any conversation that was going on in my immediate vicinity. My flawed reasoning was, if they wanted privacy and exclusiveness, that they wouldn't be standing near me to conduct their conversation. So therefore, it must be ok to butt in.

Well, one day a co-worker very bluntly turned to me, and said, "Why are you in this conversation?" I burned inside for a long time, over that one, but it taught me a valuable lesson. I learned that my behavior was inappropriate! I may have gotten countless non-verbal signs from others, to no avail, but this was hard to mistake. YOu need to be blunt with this person, right when they are doing their behavior. I would suggest that you don't take her to task about everything she's been doing, but say, if she just interrupted, something like, "Excuse me. I only see my sister once a week, and I don't want to talk to you right now." Or, "I think it's rude when you interrupt me. I'd like you stop it." She may get upset, but it sounds like that kind of bluntness is needed to deal with her. Good luck!