Forcing myself to make smalltalk

Post Reply New Topic

I absolutely HATE smalltalk, I can't do it. So I was thinking of trying to make myself do it, as practice.
Say I was in a bookshop and saw another person looking at a book and i said something like "Hey, do you know if that book's any good?" or any other random book-related question, it might start up a mini-discussion, so i was just trying to think of situations where I could force myself to create pointless smalltalk/conversations, just to try and get better at it.

Yeah, smalltalk is a disaster to do. I usually do it anyway, since it may be useful in the future. Boring and dumb, isn't it? At my school pupils fill their lunch breaks with it, and I don't get how they can go on doing this every day for years! One of the main reasons I hardly have any friends, since most people like small talk. Sometimes I actually answer a question, like ''How are you doing?'' or something like that, thinking the person asked me a question. He or she did not; it was just a way to be social, and from what I knw from the social code is that I have to answer with ''fine''. Quite odd; this is why I almost never ask these questions, because I think they're quite personally, and if I'd really wanted to hear the word ''fine'', I'd say it myself out loud and listen to it. People ask a question, but don't want an answer.

I just persue with these social conversations once in a while (once a week or anything, I can't stand much more or longer) the way you describe.

Talking about something you're not interested in will probably be a little unnatural no matter what. It only exists as a way for strangers to become more comfortable with each other.

I can do small talk good enough to get by but I still feel like I'm acting sometimes.

I don't participate in small talk and all and I refuse to. It seems so pointless and a waste of time. Why discuss something that you have no interest in? How do you even do that? Silly humans.

I don't think it's a matter of talking about pointless things but communicating with other people. It feels good when someone else talks to me. The last conversation I had with someone no one talked about anything meaningful or gave anyone advice, although I did learn about the importance of daddy long legged spiders.

At first glance, beefing up your social chit chat skills seems like a great idea - personal growth and all of that.

But one word of caution if I may - the more succesful you become, the more you will need to practice a skill you despise - small chatting to people that is!

Please see my blog about 'small chat socilasing and swimming under water' for my experince with this. It does not have to be your experience - but just thought you should be aware