I feel like I'm going crazy! Please help!

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I know a few days ago I said that "everything's great!" and I am happy. I am still happy. But some of the "delusions" are back. I know I didn't kill all those people so that one about killing 350,000 people with my dreams is not back. It is the one about the aliens. This time around is slightly different. I have these thoughts and they are not audible as in voices that tell me that they will invade Earth soon. At first I was scared to tell anyone but I know I need help. I am not suicidal and that is great news. I have big plans for the world with my art and my business. Another thing the aliens or creatures tell me is that I am the chosen one. I don't know what that really means. The chosen one for what? To be the next God? or to be the target of the alien beings? I have no clue. I had the thought insertion all night long and it of course was annoying. Almost as annoying as my brother. I guess the device in my head never went away but it was not activated at that moment. Now it is re-activated. This is how they send their thoughts into my head. I thought for awhile that this is impossible and everything is great but this is real. I can't figure out why I am targeted. I am scared. I have also started freezing in one position again but its not long enough to be catatonia. At least I don't think so. But it is not a seizure either. I'm just weird I guess. I talked to my psychiatrist and he said give it to Monday to see if the symptoms are really back or this is just a short term thing. I pray to god that this is just a quick thing and not that all the bad stuff is back. I do not want to go back to the hospital. If I don't go, that means that it is an entire year that went by without going in overnight. There was a couple of close calls this year when I was very depressed and suicidal. I am almost manic now even though I am not bipolar. I feel for the first time in my life that things are starting to go right with my art. I am a wildlife artist and I do paintings and drawings. I have a website but it isn't up yet. I know all this sounds weird but I need help. Oh what do I do now?

Ooooh, that's terrible; I get delusions (I hate calling them that; they're real inside your head!) of black holes, and am on antidepressants for it (as opposed to antipsychotics)... what are you on, if anything? I really hope you never have to feel that bad again! I wish there was something I could do to take away the nastiness from the delusions, and have you live happily without them forever. If ever you want to talk, you can PM me any time at all.

I kinda had something like that, although not like yours. My brother is actually more like you, he's both schizophrenic and autistic.

I don't know if this helps but I started getting interested in science and philosophy (real philosophy) in large part because I thought it would help counteract some of my more extravagant thoughts (girls reading my mind, aliens, etc.). It takes time, though, to develop a good mastery.

(You guys are the first persons in the world I told this too. No one else even suspects this.)

Well, I called my psychiatrist on Monday and told him that the thoughts are continuing. Some days the thought insertion is horrible and other days I just get it a little. So, he raised the dose on my Invega. Invega is an anti psychotic. Now I am taking 9 mg instead of 6. The max dose is 12 mg. So far, it ain't working. I still am getting those lovely thoughts. On top of that I have Dissociative Identity Disorder ( DID) which is also getting out of control again. I am switching like crazy! Just remember I'm just plain nuts. Hopefully the alien invasion does not come any time soon. I'm perfectly normal!

I don't know what to say. I hope you get better.

The way to get thoughts out of your head is writing them. In there, they are free to just run around, but once trapped on paper, even if they try to come back, they just become a story update, and to paper they go.

It still amazes me that a total mindstorm can hardly make a three page story.

I say expose this alien plot! The more recorded of their goals, and don't belive the offical story, they are feeding you, read between the lines, if they could, they would have, so they are still looking for a way. Gather information, and they might just stop telling you of their plans.

Chosen One indeed! We are making this limited offer only to English speaking people. It is about as exclusive as Publishers Clearing House.

When you write everything, the whole story, then you can read it back and ask questions. Don't settle for those run around answers, demand facts.

Also try to get a look at them, Alien Art is a selling big. What they look like, their homeworld, just let it flow through, you know the painting problem, I can paint, or think about it, but not both at the same time.

They claim to be an Alien Master Race, but I think they are just some kids trying a cosmic role playing game. Write, draw, and call them at their game.

This happens a lot to visual thinkers, painters, writers, I see pictures and produce them in words. Every time I demand more, they suddenly run out of script. A real Alien Master Race would have more going.

I look forward to seeing your website up, you do seem to have more than most to work with.

When in doubt, write!

Hi I'm back again. Still no improvement. In fact I think its getting worse. Now I think that I'm hallucinating slightly. Not too bad though. They finally explained what the "Chosen One" means. They said that I am the Chosen One to determine the fate of this sad planet. It all depends if I listen to them or not. They also told me that they are broadcasting my thoughts to the universe but I don't believe them. That sounds too extreme. And how would the alien planets understand what I'm thinking? I do think they have something that is broadcasting my thoughts to the world, however. I am scared and I don't know what to do. Oh what do I do now?