I'm being afraid only becauseof someone I knew...

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Its a really long story: I once had a friend who was nice to me until 5th grade.
after that he ditched me about three times and each time i returned to him like a loyal dog to it's owner. Before that(appparently 4th grade) he even abused me in a sexual way.

Two years ago I began beeing afrade I will see him in the street, public pool, shopping centers and everywhere else in my city and neighbourhood. Because of that I almost don't get out of my house and cut myself half of my neighbourhood because I'm afraid to see him.
whenever I go to public centers I afraid to see him.
when I see him I get a total panic and all my self esteem I regain falls down to nothing.
I even get depressed, only because of seeing him.

That nightmare chases me for three years.
at least when I go to travel outside my country I have a huge relief, even if I dont have computer.

Maybe you should get a restraining order. That will make you feel safe, and give you peace of mind.

Go to you police office and talk about if it is needed in this case.

Also talk to your therapist if you have one, and see what they say. They may have some ideas on how to feel safe enough to venture out.

If you dont go out at least once a month you will become afraid of the outside. I knew a girl who hadent been out in 5 years. and would freak if she steped out her door.

Hope you fine a safer situation soon , I wish you luck !

You can't stay in your lair for all your life. Fight for yourself with his shadow. Just remember - it's all gone and will never come back. Pretend to be two people in one: let the First support the Second. Keep yourself even from looking at him, he's not worth attention. I hope you'll get better soon.