19 Sep 2008, 4:12 am
it sounds like a good idea. Thanks. ^^
I'm still mucking about a bit, but much better than I used to be... I suppose though I sound like an attention seeker writing all this down... sorry
And i'm really sorry to say I broke the no marijuana this weekend... I didn't have enough will power and hung about with someone who still smokes it but doesn't get me into trouble. 
Trying again.
^^
and thanks Ikari. ^^
24 Sep 2008, 7:51 pm
You have taken the first step or two. Those are the hardest.
Climbing out of such a situation is similar to climbing a steep talus slope: two steps forward, one step slide back. Keep climbing, the view at the top is worth the effort. (How is that for trite? 
)
Pops
25 Sep 2008, 3:12 am
27 Sep 2008, 3:42 am
monkees4va wrote:
erm...
(stammers)
I think I need help. Not professionally, I've been to too many professionals, but i'm too bloody shy to tell them face to face. writing it down is easier for me.
I really don't want to sound as if im pining for attention, but I think its time I tried to get some help. I have so many bloody issues im a wreck, I stay awake at night and cry sometimes because its all to much for me...
I have considered suicide in the past, I self harm, I cry all the time in secret, but i'm too scared to share it with anybody. I see a face and I clam up and put on my happy face. I want to talk to my parents but I haven spoken to my dad in 3 years because he is a violent alcholic, and my mum has her own issues. I put her in hospital because I was too damn selfish to care about her. The hospital staff actually told her to put me in care. She told me to my face.
I know she loves me, but she has aspies herself and hates touch and showing affection, but I crave it. To get attention I hung around with a group which got me in more trouble than I had ever been in my life. Because of them i've learned to become a compulsive lier and can't seem to help it, I hate what I've become. Only on text am I truly honest.
I'm a teenager and a smoker, I drink when its offered to me and have experimented with drugs, although I utterly refused to take the 'hard' ones.I suppose because I was so desperate for friends I folowed them all.
Now I know you all know more about me, and its probibly changed your opinion about me. thought I'd be honest. This isn't the half of it, but i'm running out of time to say much more.
what do I do?
(stammers)
I think I need help. Not professionally, I've been to too many professionals, but i'm too bloody shy to tell them face to face. writing it down is easier for me.
I really don't want to sound as if im pining for attention, but I think its time I tried to get some help. I have so many bloody issues im a wreck, I stay awake at night and cry sometimes because its all to much for me...
I have considered suicide in the past, I self harm, I cry all the time in secret, but i'm too scared to share it with anybody. I see a face and I clam up and put on my happy face. I want to talk to my parents but I haven spoken to my dad in 3 years because he is a violent alcholic, and my mum has her own issues. I put her in hospital because I was too damn selfish to care about her. The hospital staff actually told her to put me in care. She told me to my face.
I know she loves me, but she has aspies herself and hates touch and showing affection, but I crave it. To get attention I hung around with a group which got me in more trouble than I had ever been in my life. Because of them i've learned to become a compulsive lier and can't seem to help it, I hate what I've become. Only on text am I truly honest.
I'm a teenager and a smoker, I drink when its offered to me and have experimented with drugs, although I utterly refused to take the 'hard' ones.I suppose because I was so desperate for friends I folowed them all.
Now I know you all know more about me, and its probibly changed your opinion about me. thought I'd be honest. This isn't the half of it, but i'm running out of time to say much more.
what do I do?
I hope things are getting better in your life . I just wanted to say I believe in you.
Keep going things will get better soon!! !! !
27 Sep 2008, 3:46 am
monkees4va wrote:
And i'm really sorry to say I broke the no marijuana this weekend... I didn't have enough will power and hung about with someone who still smokes it but doesn't get me into trouble.
Trying again.
^^
and thanks Ikari. ^^
Trying again.
^^
and thanks Ikari. ^^
Go to NA they will help by giving you a support network of friends who are trying to stay clean too.
http://www.na.org/basic.htm
I believe in you!! !! !! You can do it ! !!
