What just happened to me???

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I need words to describe something that happened last night.
I've never experienced anything quite like it before, and I know that some of you all might be able to help me understand it.

This is what I remember:
Last night, my ex (whom I still live with) and I got into an argument. Things escalated very quickly, and it got out of hand. All of a sudden, I found myself hitting my own head repeatedly, screaming, and falling to the ground. My vision and hearing all got "far-away", I felt numb. My body became paralyzed. I had scrunched myself up, nearly into a ball. My hands were locked behind my head, and my fingers frozen in a claw-like gesture, digging into my scalp. I felt like my lungs were closing off. My breathing became a series of interrupted gasps. I lay there, not moving and struggling to breathe for what seemed like a very long time.

Not realizing the extent of what was going on, my ex sarcastically said, "Am I going to have to wake you up off the floor??" I tried to say something. I could not speak. After a tremendous amount of effort, I managed to blurt out something like, "mmgggnno". At some point, I felt my body start to release the paralysis-tension. I was able to move, and I slowly propped myself up into a sitting position.

I sat there, with my head in my hands and began to tremble and shake. I started to cry uncontrollably. I mean whole-body sobs that I could not stop, even though I wanted to. My breathing remained frantic and choppy. It was all completely involuntary. I realized this with a growing sense of terror. My ex started to see that there was something really wrong, and came over to try and comfort me. She tried to give me a glass of water. The shaking had gotten so bad that I couldn't even hold the glass.

I sobbed and shook uncontrollably for a long time, and it eventually very slowly began to subside. I was able to speak and drink that glass of water. But after I had stopped crying and shaking, I felt like I'd been run over by a truck. I stared vacantly at the wall, and my speech was mostly one-word responses, and even those words were slurred.

I ended up spending more than an hour on the floor, going through all of this. Eventually I was able to get up, and my speech improved. My ex and I talked about what happened, and she seemed just as clueless and afraid as I was. I pretty much immediately went to bed after that. This morning, I still feel like I was flattened by a truck. I must have hit myself in the head pretty badly, because certain spots are still tender, and my whole head generally aches.

Last night, I described what happened as a "breakdown". My brain shut down, and I lost voluntary control of my body. I don't know what else to call that. My ex looked up information on panic attacks, and said that a lot of those symptoms match up. But I feel like it was a bit more than that. Or just the absolute worst panic attack I've ever had. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before... just a total shutdown.

So like I said, if you guys could provide any insight into what all this stuff might be indicative of, I would really appreciate it. Just seeking out a name for what I experienced, so I can understand it.
Thank you so much!

Gosh, I wish I could help. I hope you're ok.

Possible explanations (just two of many):

1. Partial Complex Seizure
2. Catatonia

Get medical advice, soon. Really.

sounds to me that you had a stress induced severe panic attack, when a person has severe anxiety or in a panic attack it can effect the person neurologically, especially since the autistic's brain is "rewired" differently then an NT's (the fine motor tone gets flaw like, breathing changes, you "lock up" when speaking, feeling like you cant speak, for instance like in a bad dream)


if the arguments are common, have both of you thought of an alternative place to stay, if that is out of question, maybe counseling for both you and him (not saying you are cause here Acacia,)

hope all goes well and things calm down between you and EX

I can tell you *exactly* what that is. You got so upset, you both went into shock and started to have a meltdown. This used to happen to me a *lot*. Usually the crying would come first and what you described would come later. I'd also wail and scream. VERY Loudly.

That was a scary panic attack/seizure/shock/brain lock. It does happen to some of us. Finding out if you have seizures can be a good thing. I found that recognizing that I was having panic attacks once a month at midnight in bed helped me get through it by telling myself that my body was panicked, but I was not. I would read a book until the adrenaline wore off (usually two to three hours) and then I could go back to sleep.

That sounds terrifying. I'd guess it to be a severe meltdown/breakdown, or seizure. Because it's not happened before, I think it's a very good idea to get a health check-up as soon as you can.

it's called GRIEF. This is why ex's are not lived with. When your soul realizes it's over and they are still there, but estranged, we can react in various ways.

I sincerely hope you can get away from your ex. It is not healthy.

Merle

This happened to me a couple of times, it lasted a few years. Basically the emotions I felt were so intense I had a breakdown, panic attack, almost like a seizure. I would get so upset cry hit myself then start having almost like an epileptic fit on the floor. Was horrible. It was from the emotions. It only ever happened when I argued with my partner.

I managed to control and stop it by learning how to stay calm. Cool and calm. Meditation and yoga really helped. Also learning not to let people upset me so much that my emotions would get so heated. Since I meditate, excercise and have "chilled out" by not letting anyone upset me it never happens anymore

I wish you luck.

Thank you so much for all of your help!
Feeling better now, after pretty much being a zombie yesterday.

After reading a lot about it, I think that what I experienced was indeed a severe panic attack. I was doubtful at first because this has never happened to me before, and I guess I had some misconceptions as to what a panic attack was. I always thought of it as being a far more mild reaction. Not some total shutdown. This panic attack was just a final response to the special kind of misery that living with an ex can be.

The background for all of this does have to do with living situation. My ex and I have not been in a loving relationship for years now, but we are indirectly trapped together because she can't support herself financially, can't drive, and we have a child together. I want to end things amicably, and certainly do not want to abandon anyone. Trying to make sure all these issues are taken care of, so that we can each move on has proven nearly-impossible. So we both feel stuck, we fight all the time, and I guess last night, my brain finally had enough. Of course, this is all a whole other story that will probably end up in another thread at some point. I'll leave it at that.

But again, thank you for your responses.