DukeGallison wrote:
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Do any of you have trouble letting go of grudges against people and things that have happened to you in the past?
Why, what’s wrong with holding a grudge?
Spokane_Girl wrote:
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If I get real paranoid, then it makes it real hard to not worry about it so it bothers me.
Last time I held one was maybe this summer when someone called me a yuppie or hipster or both, I don't remember which. It was scary because I don't know where he got that from. Was my enemy spreading lies about me through PMs? Did I do something wrong? All these thoughts going through my head. Took me three days to get over it. One of my online friends had to help. No we didn't get even with him. Just resolved it.
Everything has its use, even paranoia. It keeps you on your toes. You never know when you might need it. Don’t neutralize the tool that brought you the message but don’t embrace the tool for three days either.
Spokane_Girl wrote:
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You can still remember things without holding a grudge against it. Not allowing someone to hurt you again doesn't mean you are holding one.
Depends on the person, or non person as the case may be. “Not allowing” is very civilized, virtuous and humane but it won’t work on everyone. I don’t believe that being a human is an all or nothing proposition. Being human is a comparatively quantifiable ability same as intelligence or how blue your eyes are. With some people you just need to say two words and they understand their error. With others you need to yell and curse at them and yet with others you need to keep kicking them in the groin until they drop dead so to speak.
lionesss wrote:
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But over time, I have realized it is me who was suffering, not the ones who did me wrong. Have I forgotten about those who have harmed me?
We humans need to suffer at least a little to get ourselves motivated and off our behind. I have used my grudges to get ahead in life. In fact I have nurtured and fed them. I owe most of my achievement to them. I don’t know, maybe I’m lazy and need them for achievement but I hate to think where I would be if I hadn’t had them.
Fnord wrote:
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Yes. Unfortunately, these grudges diminish only after the person I hold the grudge against has died.
They may have died but I can guarantee you there are at least another million people out there that have, are, will or would do the same things the ones that died did. Death changes nothing.
Shiggily wrote:
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its unhealthy
I am very healthy and feel great.
LadyKathleen wrote:
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i become bitter and depressed and defensive
Beer is bitter too but tastes great and makes you feel good as long as you don’t get slobbering drunk.
Being depressed a little every once in a while helps one reflect and contemplate which we all need to do as long as we don’t let it get to be a full time occupation.
Best defense is a good offense and being defensive is good as long as you let your mind lead the charge and not your mouth.
19 Feb 2009, 9:16 pm
