I want my son to find peace..

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I'm so sorry to hear about your agony with this. I also had an agonizing childhood, and at 17, I was hell on wheels as well.

If one dr took him off meds, make sure you go to another dr and one who specializes in ASD's. Keep him in the care of specialists, not just any dr.

Know that as we grow older, I think most of us mellow out more. I know that I have.

Take the best care of yourself. Take time to do nurturing things for yourself, so that your son doesn't dominate your life. If you don't take good care of you, you won't be able to offer the best care to your son.

Well I'll tell you how I lived with Aspergers, and I know how your son feels, I never turned to substance abuse though, it makes things worse, but hopefully my little story can help:

When I was 13 years old in 7th grade I had a reported history of Pervasive Developmental Disorder(PDD) reclassified as ADD and Aspergers. I had language delay when I was a toddler, not carrying on conversations with others, but having echolalia until I was 4 years old. I attended a preschool program for handicapped children. I had poor peer relationships(still do), having no friends after school. I had an oddity to my behavior at times, rocking in my chair, flapping my arms, lack of eye contact, talking to people who aren't there. I would push myself through crowds in the hallway, turn my back on teachers, make fists on desks, and didn't appear to be cognizant of social cues of my peers. I have felt sad since 5th grade, had mostly bad days. I got annoyed easily,(still do) and had called teachers a b*tch under my breath and also I told teachers to shut up. I had difficulty focusing and concentrating. (still do sometimes) I would often leave answers blank on tests. I have threatened to kill myself, I also threatened to kill another girl. I was fixated on one boy(Danny). wanting him to be my boyfriend. I've been evaluated in PESS more than once, one of the times when I wrote a note to Danny saying if did not like me I wanted to die. I had an imaginary friend, who would tell me not to do bad things, but I didn't always listen.

I was then, but on Ritalin and it helped me focus better and calmed me down. When I go into 8th grade I was put into smaller classes where I could focus more and I no longer insulted teachers, I still had my moods, but not as bad as they used me, I learned to control myself. Once I got into High School I really improved, my grades were high and my teachers loved me, I still till this day have lack of eye contact, but I was on Honor Rolls at least once a year and the lowest grade I got on a report card was no lower than a C. I was still hyper, but I was able to control myself, people also started to like me, then when I got into Junior year I got a crush, who I still have feelings for him, on Jon, who pretty much sent me backwards, but when my life turned back into crap, something amazing happened I was drawing in class one day and I created Stewart Mango! From there on my life started to become better again, later I went on to my Senior year and I presented Stewart Mango to the world, people enjoyed my comics and videos. Not to mention I took English IV CP instead of English 12, where I became friendly with my teacher and I was respected more. I also sold Stewart Mango merchandise and made over $20! I graduated in the top 20% of my class and got onto NJSTARS and went to college, but I did bad in some courses and I am no longer on NJSTARS, but I am doing better and now that I have found this site I am now happy to help others get through Aspergers.

The only bad thing Crying babies, screaming children, and barking dogs REALLY stress me out!

is there any hospital etc place where he cant go with his "friends" im in grouphome my self and i never touched alcohol until i came here but but lot of those who did in here went better just make sure u have jourist to take his case if someting goes wrong ..anyway he need to get rid from his friends that cause harm

I hope it helps you to know that I survived a similar upbringing. when there's only one parent and a disabled child I cannot think of anything more difficult for both, when i think about it I feel numb. I just want to beg you to keep fighting for his happiness, there is nothing better than seeing a person like that smile and to make that happen must be a fantastic award.
when it's realy that bad, survive and it'll get better. Fight for the closest need and forget about the rest, breaking it down into smaller immediete goals.

You're also not alone in a lack of support from the external world. I could seriously punch those f*****g phsychiatrists in the face. Thinking they can spend 30 minutes with somone and know how they are. They will do everything they can not to give a diagnosis, it's always like that.

I hope things get better for your son. He's still young, so life has time to fluxuate still.

I know your sons pain, and I can sit back and say well heck I have AS (I'm 19), and I haven't had those issues and then again I didn't go through the heartache of public school, and all of that. My life is not a cake walk either, by any means.

Let's see.

My mom is a single mom who also has AS and other problems to boot, along with a highly nervous personaility. We did have help from her parents, but none from my father.

I have had AS. She pulled me out of the school system when I was 8, and I was homeschooled till graduation.

I missed a lot of bullying, but I was lonely as hell and got bullied online quite a bit.

I've never had friends in my life, till I came to college. I've had some loose friends and some people to talk to, but no one to hang with, be with, till I've come to college.

Working is hard. I got bullied the entire time there, and the bullying was horrible and almost caused me to kill myself.

I have never and still don't have a girlfriend, which hurts like hell. Yes I know lots of people have these problems, even without AS, but it sucks.

I see where your son is coming from. These kids are an adventure to him, they will talk to him, interact with him. All he and I wanted was to be accepted. He's obviously in the wrong crowd. Can you convince him to stay away from these kids? Nope.

Now you would think he would have some common sense to not go around people who beat him or try to get him killed, but then again I've never been around such people.

Don't give up on your son though. My mom and I have been through some awful times and some really good ones. Some nights we both wanted to kill ourselves, but sucide isn't the answer. Get your kid into state care if needed, force him into rehab. If you can't do it, get law enforcement to do it.

I'm sorry your kid has had such a hard life, and it sounds like mine has not been as hard as I make good grades in college, have had a job for over a year, made some friends, but trust me my life isn't easy and I have to face the world every day with an invisible difference.

I hope my post helps.

The drinking and the drugs MUST stop. Your son may benefit from "decent" aspie friends. He may need to start a study that will lead him to a favored job. A task-oriented job might be a good idea. For example, people who are trained to do ultrasound...that's all they do. Christianity may help a lot. Asperger's isn't a horrible diagnosis. Being a teen is. Your son needs a goal other than being just like everybody else...and not being himself. You, yourself need therapy to cope with what "has" happened in order to help usher in a new life for him.
Young kids and teens DO NOT respond well to antidepressive nor the withdrawal from them.
Your son is who he is. He is not the product of what everyone had done to him. He is NOT DEFINED by the abuse others have done to him. His abusers should be ashamed of themselves but they are too ignorant to feel shame. How does he feel about working with animals in an animal shelter? I feel like jailing everyone that has hurt your son! I am sooo mad!! Stop all the nightmare and help him be born again. An aspie support group may be a good idea. A goal may be another good idea. See if you can get job training through an Autistic help support network.
He needs to be with his own people, get educated, and be gainfully employed. One day at a time.