What would you do?

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Recently I bought a Sony Cyber-Shot T30 camera. I went away to my holiday home only to come back and find it missing. My younger brother has a reputation for stealing things. He is also extremely good at lying, it just seems to come so naturally to him, I could not lie to save myself. Anyway I was just wondering what you might do in a situation like this. I don't know where to turn. I'm so worried that he might have sold it. I have asked did he take it, he said no, but I just cant believe him anymore. Should I threaten him, wait and see what happens or call the police?

You don't call the police for your younger brother stealing your camera. My brother would never dare stealing a camera from me, even if I'm physically weaker. He has too much respect for me.

Well he is not that young, he is 19. But I don't think I would call the police. He is having girlfriend trouble, he has no money and I'm afraid he has sold it to buy her something. I don't know how to go about threatening him or how to approach this situation. I'm all confused.

I've called the cops on family members before and it just exasperates the situation. Maybe if you worry more about your brother and less about the camera you'll figure out what to do. Not saying you care more about the camera or anything, just seems to me that if he's doing things like stealing to keep someone in his life satisfied with the relationship he probably isn't too contented. I really don't know what you should do but I definately wouldn't call the cops.

i would call the cops...send him a clear and unambiguous message.
is he an aspie?
sometimes its a hard loving that gets through.

My brother has ADHD.I love him, but I have lived with him for so long. Its always the same thing, stealing, lying and abusing. I know there is nothing anyone can actually do, but I just need some suggestions, about what I might need to do. I just thought I should call the police since its not the first time, something like this has happened. I feel so defenceless.

He is on his way over to his friends house maybe they have it hidden there. I feel so paranoid now!! !

Is it impossible to talk sense with him? Doesn't he have a shrink that he's going to? Better to tell the shrink, if it's a good one. He can make him give the camera back without involving the cops. If he's a good one, that is.

Though they're near "relatives" of ours, in your case literally, some ADHDs are really pains in the arse...

I can't just have a rational talk with him, he starts shouting and threatening me. He hates that I accuse him of anything, which he generally has done. It's got to the point of saying 'the boy who cried wolf' where nobody can tell the truth from a lie. He does not have a shrink and probably needs to see one, I don't think he would go. If he was to go and see one, he would put up a fight.

Be back in 2 Hours!! !

You say he has a history of this sort of thing. Question: will he reform? No? Then try to come to terms with the situation as is. (I'm assuming you can't get your own place.)

Your brother steals and lies. I guess he must, given his lights, such as they may be. If you can't get away from it, then you can accept it, for the time being. Things will go missing from time to time. You undertake to let go because the emotional price of hanging on is too high. And you make a mental note to undo this mindset when you're independent.

Do you share the room? If not, you could put a zillion locks on the door, or hide valuables ... um, I wonder what a good hiding place would be.

Are you totally sure he stole it? It would be awful to do something to him only to find out one month later that you put the camera under the bed

Brain wave! Hide your stuff in *his* old stuff that he never looks at!

After persistent threatening to call the police, he owned up and gave back the camera. Wow! that worked really well. I'm so relieved to have it back. I don't think the police threat will work again though. I will have to get a safe and lock everything valuable away. I have so many different hiding places at the moment, some good & some bad. I have a lock on my door. I just forgot to put the camera away when I was finished at the computer(computer is downstairs).

I hope my brother can straighten out his life. I feel bad for him, he just seems so confused at the moment. Wish I could help him.

Thanks everyone for all the help. Much appreciated!!

Just wondering, where are your parents in all of this? If they're available, you need to talk to them about this. If you both live at home with them, they need to be involved in this. And they need to tell him the next time he steals something from you, he gets kicked out of the house.

And then somebody needs to do something to help HIM. This is a cycle he can't continue on. He really needs help.

In the meantime though, a safe is probably an excellent idea to not allow him the option to steal something valuable from you.

My parents live with us. They too are afraid of his actions at times. He was kicked out before but came back with his promises, not to steal again. It didn't last for long, till he was back to his old ways again. I don't think my parents liked kicking him out of the house, it upset them more than it upset him. They also have a lot of things on their minds at the moment, my twin sister who has AS is in a psychiatric hospital in London, there was no proper service for her in Ireland, to cope with her challenging behaviour. My parents know a lot of people, who are not receiving the proper services they need in Ireland. There children are under 18 and should be provided with a service. There is such a lack of support for people with autism.

My brother was given his diagnosis at 16 and was prescribed Ritalin. He took it for a year and then stopped, he said it numbed his mind and he couldn't think properly. Since he was diagnosed, he has not seen anyone. Nobody checks to see how he's doing, our even how my parents are doing.

My parents are in financial difficulty because the health board will not pay for the visits to London. My Dad was out of work for 11 months, minding my sister and did not get paid. She won't be coming home this Christmas, due to her behaviour.

Sorry for the rant!!