Coming unglued

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I've posted how difficult and stressful work has been for me in the past. Morale has been in the toilet and co-workers are abandoning their positions for other positions in the company. We're extremely short-staffed and I've been taking on the workload of other people. I've been working 12 hour days under extreme pressure.

Things have come to a head two weeks ago. I had a major meltdown two weeks ago. I tried to transfer a call to another workgroup. The engineer who took the call refused to help me. We got into an argument and I said "That's OK. I'll figure it out on my own like all the times I get f****d over by your team". It got back to my boss and I was verbally warned. I've been having outbursts when I get fustrated. I throw something, f-bomb, and storm off. My boss has had complaints regarding this behavior and has told me how inappropriate that behavior is. I've started to feel like I'm an idiot and incapable of doing this job competently.

I'm really concerned about my behavior. I have angry outbursts. I've developed road-rage. My apartment is a disaster zone and I could care less about cleaning it. I'm drinking heavlily. I've developed self-hatred that I've worked hard to resolve. I'm sinking into a self-destructive streak. Help. Should I be calling a therapist??

Absolutely -- you should either see a therapist or a very good friend, because you need to blow some steam off and release some pressure.

What are some coping strategies for work?

Are you looking for another job? Sounds like you need to start getting the resume out there and starting your search for greener (or at least friendlier) pastures.

If quitting's not an option: are you willing to talk to HR to discuss what you've been going through lately? I'd recommend bringing along a note from your doctor about how your condition makes you behave under the pressure you deal with so they can understand things better, and hopefully lighten your workload rather than firing you.

If you're with a bigger company, you may check into their Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Most have counselors available 24/7 to confidentially talk about problems with employees.

Short of any of that, yes - see a therapist in person, and don't be afraid to lean on friends and family to get you through this. That's what they're there for. And that's what we're here for. Please keep us up to date on how you're doing, and the best of luck to you as you get through this.

I had another one of my "I'm such a f*****g loser" moments today. Normally I don't back down from a challenge but I wimped out on an escalated call. I had an account manager hound me for an action plan. I threw my hands up in the air and said to him "I'm sorry but I'm not capable of adding value to this escalation. I'll speak to my manager about having a senior engineer work this."

The pay and benefits are too good to leave. I'm trying to hold on because my employer is paying for me to take the prep course for my Linux certification.