going out does hurt. i went out to get some shopping last weekend and it was a beautiful day and i feel guilty for not enjoying it more. but there were several over-riding sensations to deal with. one was that actually i felt cold because as soon as i was out of the sun, the wind was rattling through my clothes. secondly i felt myself recoiling (involuntarily) away from the sunlight like it was hurting my eyes and nervous system. also, as soon as there is a tiny bit of sun, a large number of men feel it is suddenly appropriate to leer at me and invade my physical space which i find startling. i know that they mostly mean well so i am not moaning about that it is just that i really don't need anymore sensory info in my periferal to have to try to filter.
i couldn't get home quick enough.
luckily i do not get panic attacks anymore, but i do feel for those that do. wish i had someone i felt safe going out with.
01 May 2007, 6:40 pm
