Can autism be misdiagnosed as narcissism?

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Would a person still be considered narcissistic if they were self-possessed yet did not take it out on others? The way I look at it is, sometimes it may seem as if I am being selfish or aloof, but really, I find that this is a coping mechanism for me to deal with the rest of the NT world, who I believe to be highly self-centered anyways. So, in a sense, it's like I'm copying their behavior in order to deal with it all.

The thing is, I feel good when I act this way and in control of my life when I am selfish. I would never take out my anger on someone else or make them feel inferior to me because I get a kick out of it. On the contrary, I would never want to put down anyone. But, I think focusing on yourself and your own needs can be a really good thing and make you more powerful and confident.

That's the opposite of NPD right here, so you don't need to worry about that

If it's possible to be both ASD and NPD, then my mother is. She's *definitely* NPD, though of course she'll never get officially diagnosed because she acts like the poor put-upon martyr in front of medical professionals. But all the profiles and definitions fit her so well that it always looks to me as though they were written to describe her.

Anyway, my mother has NPD, and my son has classic autism, so I know quite a bit about the differences and similarities between the two. And to answer the post title question, I'd say that someone who would misdiagnose autism as NPD doesn't know anywhere enough about either of those conditions! A few examples:

- A Narcissist is always out to charm strangers, and will be damn good at it. An autistic person would neither want nor be able to accomplish such feats.

- A Narcissist is extremely good at cognitive empathy, but has zero emotional empathy. An autistic person is almost the exact way around (low cognitive empathy, high emotional empathy).

- A Narcissist constantly adapts to the circumstances around them in order to better charm people, even often going so far as presenting as a different person to different people within the same day. An autistic person has a hard enough time intellectually learning to modulate their presentation according to the circumstances to manage something like that!

- A Narcissist literally cannot live without a constant audience, and without drama - two features autistic people are well-known to dread and avoid.

- An autistic person loves spending time alone doing their own stuff. A Narcissist *hates* being alone, and has very few - if any - lone hobbies.

- And, well, the ultimate difference: a Narcissist LOVES hurting other people, will do it as much as they can get away with it and some more, and pretty much lives for it. An autistic person... doesn't.

As I said, though, I'm wondering if it's possible to be both Narcissistic and autistic, because my mother presents signs of both. However, even if she's both, she's definitely NPD first and autistic second in order of behaviour/psychology. Chronologically, however, she would most likely have been autistic first and NPD second - but the NPD completely took over.

By the way: it's true that PDs can't and shouldn't be fully diagnosed in kids, but it's also true that everyone I've ever talked to about having a Narcissistic family member have ALL said that it showed right from childhood. I've seen theories that psychopathy might be born in childhood from a tragic combination of genetics, bad environment, and a traumatic event in early childhood, and so far everything I've seen or read points to the possibility of NPD being generated in a similar way. (For example: my family has been beyond f**ked-up for generations, so my mother certainly inherited bad genes and grew up in a bad environment, and there are plenty of possibilities as to what kind of early life trauma she may have been put through).

So anyway, in conclusion: Narcissism and autism are polar opposites in nature even though they can vaguely look similar in some ways, and only a completely incompetent professional would misdiagnose autism as NPD. (Unfortunately, I do believe that most mental health professionals are indeed dreadfully incompetent, but that's another story altogether.)

Just my 2 cents. My husband is diagnosed with AD/HD. There is NO DOUBT in my mind that he has NPD or similar and honestly, I truly believe he is more in the psychopath extreme. The difference between his conduct and every kid and adult I know who is autistic is night and day. I think it is possible to be both autistic and have AD/HD or to have AD/HD and NPD, but not necessarily autistic and NPD...that's from what I have observed in my son, many of his friends and my husband.

PS I think that autism, especially Asperger's and AD/HD are still greatly misdiagnosed, thus causing many to think that someone has both autism and NPD, while actually the person has AD/HD and NPD...

It seems unlikely to me.

I can only base that reply on my own experience though, which obviously will not be the same as everyone else's.

In my experience, the reason I went for evaluation/assessment for possible ASD is because I am so UNHAPPY with myself as a person, and I feel that I am doing everything wrong socially, and somehow am unable to communicate with people in such a way that they don't inevitably end up hating me or thinking I'm bizarre/screwed up. This sense of unhappiness with myself is the very opposite of narcissism.

(as an aside, when we use the term "narc" in america, it's short for "narcotics officer", not "narcissist" - just in case anyone gets confused seeing the shortened term in other posts in this thread and starts to question what people mean when they call someone a "nark"/"narc" - they usually mean the person is a tattle tale/ a "rat", not a narcissist, as used earlier in this thread.)

I think most with AS use logic when they speak. Of course, the majority of society says what they think people will want to hear, not necessarily the truth, much less backed by logic. Therefore, I think without a doubt some may think that those who are Aspies, etc. are narcissistic when the fact is that they are just speaking based on logic and not on feelings.