My husband is in his 60s, and it's like his parents/sibs ("family") is almost separate from him. Picture how you'd behave around relatives you sort of barely know.
They are always polite to him. They sort of half ass include him on stuff, which means invite but doesn't consult.
The huge elephant in the room is my husband's social skills border around age 14. He doesn't initiate a whole lot of interaction with his family. Where the sibs and family contact each other all the time, he'll pick up the phone once in a very blue moon. When he does talk, he monologs. So family goes mentally "ugh", and will avoid him. He'll have off the wall suggestions to go places, and doesn't take into account like his parents mobility issues. I notice the siblings facial expressions, and it's all "FFS, really?"
Relationships are like a thirsty needs water houseplant. My husband doesn't understand the time and effort you have to plow into them to get that closeness. He works really hard trying to connect with our kid. I accept him where he is. Our relationship is not NT at all. Because he is so not present, I get a ton of freedom to do what I want. I could never have that with another NT, because it reads "room mates", not partners.
My husband cares very very very deeply about his family, and our kid, and me. His actions come across as ambivalent. A NT seeing his facial expressions, body language and speech would not equate that as caring at all. Mildly befuddled professor?
NTs read body language way before anything tumbles out of the mouth. My husband's body language and expressions seldom match up for a situation. I think a good 90% of him being ignore, is his family sees him disinterested at best, and coupled with minimal contact
My husband was diagnosed in his 50s. Family acknowledges the autism, but does nothing to make it easier on him.
23 Jun 2020, 8:11 pm
