Step-dad makes me mad...

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For approximately 3 months (I don't know exactly although it has felt like years...) I and my Mum and brother have been living with Mum's dude. I have never got along with him because he is arrogent. He suspects he is slightly Aspie, but sometimes I wonder if this is just an excuse for him to be a jerk (Kinda like in that episode of House...). My Mum is (for some reason) totally goofy over him and this makes me confused becasue I can see NOTHING good in him at all. One time he even yelled at me for putting my memory stick in the back of his computer. Another time (when I apparently hit him but I don't remember) he nearly pulled my trousers down because he was pulling me out to kick me onto the street. Luckily I had a seizure and he let me go.

I hate him because it seems that my Mum loves him more than us. Mum hasn't been the same loving person I remembered before she got with him. Even my brother hates him and we regularly hold 'we hate Richard' forums in his room. (his name is Richard...) I will be moving into a special home eventually but that could take over a year. I really am so angry I am scared I will do something drastic, and lately I have been getting thoughts of tampering with his insulin and stuff like that. I won't do that and it is just thoughts (most likely Tourette related) but I am scared that one day my thought may become reality... Sorry to rant on, I am just very depressed...

I went through a situation very similar to this, i too had a step dad that my brother, sister and I didn't like but after a couple of years we finally warmed up to him and enjoyed having him around, at which point my mom and step dad got divorced.
The best advice is just give it time and you too will probably warm up to your step dad, but in the mean time don't be afraid to ask your mom to see a counsellor. For you, your brother, your mom and stepdad, one big family group session. That way you can discuss your concerns in a safe enviorment with another adult around.
There is an epsiode of Freeks and Geeks(a cancelled tv show from a couple of years) that has a situation about a kid and his mom who is divorced and she now has a new boyfriend. I recommend renting the dvd and watching that epsoide if you can, for me it was very helpful to visually see and hear a similar situation and it gave me a good cry when i was depressed. It might do the same for you and hopefully it gives you some ideas how to handle things, Along with ideas that you recieve from wp.

Hope this helps and if you have any specific questions feel free to pm me.

I've known him for over 4 years now and I still hate him. Councelling doesn't work, I just end up screaming at them.

INSTEAD OF TALKING HOW ABOUT HELPING ME!?

Something along those lines... --------- <lines...

move out of the house and to your biological fathers house. that was what i would do. or begin to pull evil pranks like putting laxative in his coffe. in your case, i would say its time to fight fire with fire. and remember
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Well despite the fact that you just yelled or screamed at me when i was trying to help you i don't have much desire to help you anymore, but i don't want to be rude and know that you are fustrated and that is understandable. I will try to help you the best i can as i am not an expert.

Its very scary to have thoughts about harming someone. Ive had thoughts like that as well about other people as i was always focusing on the bad things they've done to me and the bad thoughts kept repeating themself in my head, i started to focus on one good memory i had of that person and replayed that thought over and over in my head and that cheered me up and lightened my mood. Do you have one good memory of your step dad that you could replay over and over in your mind to see how that helps. hopefully this suggestion helps you.

I know you hate him but try to be the bigger person, try and find something that you and your stepdad have an common and see if that relax's him from being a jerk.

Have you been to counselling just by yourself? Just you and the counsellor.

Im helping the best way i know how and i'd appreciate it if you didn't yell at me next time.

i'd have to agree with svend_sved if nothing else is working, move in with your real father if your legally old enough to decide which parent you want to live with.

Sorry if i provided much more talk then was needed.

wow, he screams at you for trying to help and then YOU apologize to HIM!

I felt bad that i may have just frustarted jellybean more, it was quite possible jellybean was just looking for a quick fix solution and not a bunch of useless talk that will most likely get over anaylsed on their behalf. That's my assumption anyways.

I have a step-dad who used to scream at me, throw me out of the house for unknown lengths of time during rain, snow mosquitoes, and anytime and anyweather, he didn't care, he still gets upset over the slightest of issues and is nothing like my birthfather. I had just been kicked out of the house for four months and was allowed to return only because my mom didn't want me to be homeless. My birthfather died of lungcancer and I loved him very much. I try to love my stepdad too, but all the memories of how he's treated me over the past eight years make it neigh impossible.

I wasn't yelling at you, sorry... I was just saying what I would say to a councellor... I guess I should have put it in quotation marks or something...

No worries

I can sympathize with your issues with your step-father. In my youth, I suffered a similar situation.

I have found with people like that, there is no reasoning with them. They are unhappy with themselves, and try to make others around them unhappy as well. Also, if your mother is besotted with him (and it appears that there is a long-term relationship ocurring), there is little you can do about changing the current situation.The earlier suggestion of living with your biological father may be for the best.

In the meantime, take some small solace that it could be worse (this is speaking from experience).

if he starts hitting you, verbally abusing you or doing anything else bad just get outof there. stepdads are the worst, if you have kids both origional parents should raise the kids so nothing bad happens