When a NT male finds out you are Autistic

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Since being diagnosed with a slew of acronyms last year and this month, I have no idea how to interact with males (or females for that matter). For dating purposes, when do I tell them about myself? In the beginning, once I get to know them, never? I ask because I met a NT male before I had my autistic diagnosis. We had been texting and I got the courage to tell him. His response was not what I expected. He made the comment that I would probably be good in bed. Red flags. Lots of them. I did not know how to respond so I was very vague in my responses after than. Does this happen a lot to autistic women? And wtf is wrong with people? How would you handle it? Any tips, experiences welcome. Thank you.

I don't know that I've expressed my neurodivergence to many people and thus I am not experienced. However, I will say that I can definitely see that it might be a way for a guy to look down on you and also feel like it will be easy to take advantage of you.

Am I too cynical? Or just realistic? I don't want to be too cynical, but we all must be very careful.

I don't know how exactly to take him saying you would probably be good in bed. But it does put up a lot of red flags either way and rubs me in the wrong way big time.

I look forward to responses here with experience just as much as you do.

^I dont think you are too cynical. We have to take care of ourselves. I am just now learning how to do that. I have never set boundaries until about 6 months ago. I didn't know how to set them or enforce them. I'm getting better now but this I still need pointers and guidance. Thanks for your response.

I am not dating, but I do have a new job and met new people. Generally I tell them about my characteristics - I like to think deeply about certain subjects, I feel strongly about fairness and justice, I take sensory breaks, etc. When it's time I mention I'm ND and if the subject comes up and I the circumstances are right (still fairly rare), I'll disclose that I'm Autistic. On the other hand, I have a friend who owns her own business and is dating and she discloses that she's Autistic pretty much from the onset. So far, so good for her. Moderation is good.

As always, context. How much is that guy serious and how much is he sarcastic. How often is "sex" more closely related to "love" (or affection) for men than for women - by nature or nurture (cultural). After decades, my NT husband knows not to tease me generally, but he still does. Sometimes I can laugh with him (yeah, right!) and other times I am offended (no way!). Perhaps you've had other red flags with this person so the context has already been established. In any case, good practice to check it out.

^That is great advise. You are probably right about the early red flags. I'm still learning and testing the water as they say. All of this helps. Thank you.