human relations, a bit of an NT/ND rant...

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All,

Sorry to intrude with my rant here, but I truly would value your feedback/suggestions on following topic:
It is to my ever growing annoyment (slowly moving towards anger), that I've notice the following:
Me and most of my ND friends value a person, based on our last interactions; i.e. if they display, positive, pro-active solution based actions and thinking I will like you and keep a positive regard for that person. Even if we have no more interactions for years, next time we meet up, I'll continue based of of this unchanged perception. to me this seems like the correct moral way to be colleagues, friends, heck just human...
But no, my NT friends keep insisting that I "devalue" the person if they are not socially engaged with me, pro-actively interacting with me... And when I try and indicate to them that this seems to go against values they themselves seem to hold dear, ... nothing... or gibberish... sigh...
I've noticed them actively doing this as well, even to their parents or siblings. Statements to the effect of: "yeah, I've always liked them, but since they moved, it's like they changed, I never even hear from them again." and yes I understand that you cannot keep engaged with everyone especially if you are miles apart. But again, No need to 'perform' the mental gymnastics required to pro-activly "downgrade" them in your mind...

i find this very hard to deal with and am curious to your opinions and ways to aproach this?

many thanks and kind regards
Kada,

Not sure that I have an approach.

Maybe, we have been changed by instant digital communication. You can communicate instantly, so why are you not communicating? Why have you not liked my last post?

In the past, it could take years for letters to travel internationally. Missionaries would pack their belongings in a casket and have a funeral before leaving. So there was not an expectation of constant contact.

I have observed the same thing in my life.

At the wedding party the day before yesterday, my cousin said: Even if we can text, talk, and video chat, it is still not as good as a face-to-face gathering to strengthen the connection between us.In interactions with my GF, she would never tire of testing the relationship.

I believe that NT does not like real friendship, but likes "a kind of gang" that emphasizes the interests of the gang above the whole group. This assumption can explain why the loss of contact will lead to "devalue" the person.

They did it even if they didn't mean to.

I am discouraged by the interaction with NT