Let me add what may be relevant details.
My life is “good” in general terms, but my mom is 83. Her health is “okay,” but she’s getting more scatterbrained. She had an aunt with Alzheimer’s, and this is a concern, but she doesn’t have provable cognitive decline. Since dad passed, I’ve been responsible for taking care of things around the house. My sister lives too far away to be of any help. She forgets things she used to remember all the time. Doctors want her on meds to treat various issues, one drug making her so bad she nearly passed out driving home. She stopped that drug and had been getting better.
My biggest issue with mom is what my dad had issues with…she’s good at coming up with things to do but useless in getting them done. After a while, you just don’t have the time and energy to do everything she comes up with and have to put your foot down. Mom loses her composure easily (worsening with age), and I’m the one who has to “keep it together.” Not hard for me, but it’s exhausting to have to keep doing it.
I think it’s safe to say that I’ve been carrying a lot of stress in working full time, caring for dogs she adopted (which I adore…but there are days), doing house maintenance and trying to arrange repair work for items I can’t do myself. It’s a little better now, but I’m irritable, short tempered, exhausted, unable to enjoy most anything. A part of why I don’t want to lose her anytime soon is that I absolutely dread having to deal with her estate. I don’t mind taking a few days off for myself, but I’m always wondering “what if” mom needs help while I’m gone.