Loving him is not a good enough reason to stay and put up with this crap.
To be honest, it sounds as if you have become too afraid to try and step out alone and break free of this, so in a sense, you are imprisoning yourself. He IS NOT going to change. If he were, he would have by now. He has found a great way to control you and play power games, using the pretence of love for it. Does this seem like love to you? It sure is a funny form of love, in my opinion. Love is not meant to be controlling. He is quite obviously very dysfunctional and in remaining with him, you are allowing both of yourselves to continue this pattern.
What help do you expect here if you are not willing to break free and step out alone?
There is assistance out there, if you want it. If you told housing what is going on, and got a doctor note to say you have AS, you could probably get housing benefits sorted out. At the very least, you have 2 offers of assistance here and there are shelters.
I would take you in, being a fellow female, but my flat isn't that large or tidy and I know we aspies have different routines and requirements.
I do hope you will realise that your love for him isn't doing you or he any favours.
That is just the way I see it. You are wasting time suffering in the vain hope there will be a miracle.