My crazy school

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I went to a school in Abbeyleix, Laois. I’m not going to tell anyone where the school was because it is completely private. There were many crazy things that happened at my school, or between different classmates there. Since the names of the students are private as well, I will just refer to them by fake names only.

- one girl who I will call “Sofie” stole my Guinea pig to make the dog next door “friends” with it (thankfully one of my friend saved the Guinea pig from getting eaten by the dog). She used to tell me horror stories about a one legged horse in Finland or Sweden or somewhere. She then moved to Canada cuz her family is religious and wanted to spread Christianity around Canada or something like that..

- a boy who I will also name “Albert“ pretended to be disabled and said e broke his legs (he ran around his house right after school). He also had a crazy family (he was adopted by his aunt) and he wouldn’t stop making sex jokes for some reason. He’s now a yup bro apparently. Yes a yup bro. Like those boys in Dublin.

- A very dangerous bully of ours who I will just call “Jamie” was an absolute troublemaker in class. He’d scream and jump on the tables somehow cuz he was really fat. He also was a Jehovah’s Witness, he had a little sister named Kat who he beat up and terrorised at every opportunity. Kat went on to bully my younger brother, who was also beaten/bitten etc the living crap out of by a kid I will call ‘Chris’. He also was held back a grade because of his behaviour. Things take a turn for the worst. A nice boy who I will name “Leonardo” in my class (even though he had a passion for hacking computers) now had braces. Jamie bullied Leonardo for his braces, calling him “traintracks”. Then Albert found Jamie and defended Leonardo (which was super out of character for Albert). Jamie got pissed, pushed Albert onto the curb and Albert miraculously survived. There was a lot of blood on his head too. He wasn’t even suspended either. Then he went to Heywood Secondary School, when he was 13 or something, screamed at the German teacher “F*CK YOU I LOVE HITLER” in PERFECT German and he probably got suspended or expelled i think.

- a Russian girl who I will call “Klavdiya” (a hazbin hotel fan) was so out of pocket, she scratched other kids and they got infected and when she was 16 she also beat up a 13 year old with a metal water bottle because the 13 year old was in her seat apparently. She was obsessed with being Russian, especially after the war broke out in ukraine. Only listened to Russian music (wouldnt give gorillaz a try), watched Russian tv and movies (except for hazbin, avatar the last airbender and inglorious basterds) (she also was obsessed with t-34 and other war films and hated anime) She was also very homophobic, sexist and racist. I would hear her whine absolute nonsense such “why is it called BLM and not ALM”, “conversion therapy is good. “can’t women fight back against their r*pists“, ”Ukraine bad”, “transgenders are trying to make kids trans”, “the good doctor is a good representation of autism” (it’s not), calling other women wh*res for daring to have a BOYFRIEND. (She literally told me to not be near “sluts” cuz they’d steal a man, ironic considering neither I or her have a boyfriend). Her brother only says the n word nowadays. He used to love dogs and Pokémon, but now he just says the n word. Her little sister is snobby towards a boy we ride with at pony camp because he knocks down poles. Her mum literally doesn’t even contact us due to us bringing them to a rugby match. And their parents banned from watching anime because…violence. they also pushed them to do swimming even though the competitions they had were over 20km and far too much on them. Her mum banned her from having an iPhone because she viewed the ao3 website and now she has a Nokia phone. I‘m not friends with her anymore.

There was a boy in my class who i will call ‘Cailean‘. Now ‘Cailean‘ was a massive d*ck to us. He was very violent. He hated me because I was in the same “extra math/english” class as him, and I guess he wanted to be special and be the only one part of the class. He literally splashed water in my face just to piss me off in the swimming pool when I was 5 or 6. (btw I only just learned to put my face into the water at the time). He also brought a knife to his parents and said he would kill them. (my mum knows this because there was a mix up with my school diary and his school diary, so his diary got sent to my mum, so she now knew what he did at home). He was moved to another school because no one could control him. Then he dropped out of it, (I think I remember hearing he went to military school, but I don’t know if it happéned or not) and he now has to be taught by his mum to write his own name.

(Btw Chris was so violent towards my younger brother. Literally had him in a chokehold too! And among other things like biting him, beating him up, getting triggered by him somehow. He got suspended in the last week of school 2025. if you want to know what happened to him after, he headbutted a random kid in secondary school (kilkenny college) and beat him up, and I think he had been suspended. He also goes onto the bus with my BFF Rachel, has a squeaky voice and never said thank you to her for letting him sit beside her)

And that is just a few incidents…

Remembers my school era, like a dramatic movie.

Bullies, strange persons and unexpected situations, everything included.