Does Robert Kegan's 5 Stage tell us everything?

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Very true, this is why I said "humanism" in modern religion/philosophy/psychology is aspirational rather than attainable. Both mind and body are functionalist in construction and the vain attempt by Descartes to separate mind and body alluding to our eternal soul was destroyed by Freud when he said the mind is subservient to the drives of the body (id). we can't avoid basic bodily and social needs (social behaviour again is tied with protecting our body) and have no choice but seek compromise with our higher humanistic goals - the trade off.

Yeah I think even eastern yogis and gurus fly first class and drive in limousines. I recall frequent flyer Dalai Lama was fond of a chicken curry when flying first class. More pertinent, they view ego in service of mankind and how this is achieved in the modern world is no longer living as an starving ascetic off the grid, it involves strategy, financial management, planning and organisation and navigating life in the 21st century.

The person who can go hair-shirt is pretty rare. Most people need to be able to pay bills, keep a roof over their head, buy groceries, cover transportation and health insurance, it's a lot. My own approach, especially as a guy whose probably not going to have a family, is FIRE (financial independence retire early), mainly to get more breathing room between myself and how things are in the social and work worlds. I've got a somewhat short and tidy meditation routine that lasts about 15 minutes per day, I could probably do more as well as dive on a lot of topics I care about and see what new things I can learn.

One of the interesting things about people leaving their Markov boundaries (Karl Friston's terminology), like Jiddu Krishnamurti talking about if that's a piece of enlightenment, is that he said that it was an accidental process, he had no idea how he got there, and even getting there he had no clue what the route of ingress was. It sounds like we're wrangling nature in a way more than following some plant-like process of unfoldment.

I like how I've heard either Jamie Wheal or Jordan Hall refer to the 'infinite' game. I think the language infinite and finite games (PvE vs. PvP) is important for expanding frame, it's the goal that would supposedly bring the most kickback for all and cause the least amount of unnecessary friction between participants, just that the processes need to stay corruption free and I'm seeing now the fixed positions of both men and women, how we're in an awkward position as far as asserting rationality on the world precisely when we push that too hard birth rate plummets because if things are too good the animal requirements of a guy earning respect aren't available. Keeping a culture from collapsing during prosperity (the Ray Dalio cycles) is a hard needle to thread.

Sounds like a plan.

Krishnamurti is very insightful and funny. On "enlightenment by accident", reminds me of Saul on his way to Damascus falling of his horse and knocking his head. that bit of clumsiness would change the history of the modern world forever.

Also explains why the only feasible scenario where social equilibrium is achieved is competition and neo-liberal economic theory. Our basic animal instinct to compete for resources. Darwin's survival of the fittest. when you remove social competition and have abundance you have a scenario like WALL-E where humans lose purpose and just sit at home and grow fat and die.

So yes, the awkwardness is achieving all our goals and realising (like the penguins in Madagascar) the promised land isn't what we expect or hope.

Yeah, it's very much the Thomas Sowell and John Gray constrained vision - ie. no solutions, only tradeoffs.

and we will making trade-offs all the way to the grave yard.