Saying "you're welcome!" if someone doesn't say thank you

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When people yell "you're welcome!" when you don't say thank you after them letting you pass. Ugh.

One time I was walking to work one foggy morning, lost in my thoughts and still not fully awake (I am not a morning person). On the pavement (sidewalk) I walked by a woman who was strapping her child in the rear seat of her car, but the pavement was narrow so she left the car door ajar and moved round the back of her car to let me pass. I didn't notice that she had done that to let me pass, as I wasn't really paying attention, I just thought she had gone to the back to put something into the boot (trunk) or something, as it was left open.
But after I passed I heard her yell "you're welcome!" and it made me feel anxious, like I had failed socially and seemed rude when I wasn't intending to be.

So sometimes it's best not to be sarcastic or entitled when someone doesn't respond, because they could be not responding for a reason, and not to be rude. Maybe they're not really focusing on you, maybe they're just lost in their thoughts like I was, or they might even be shy or phobic of looking at strangers in the eye. It could be for any number of reasons.

Obviously if you're holding a door open for someone then it's harder to miss and it's more obliged of them to say thank you, but if you're moving out the way for them and they're just minding their own business thinking you're moving out the way for some other reason if you're busy anyway then it might look less obvious to the stranger.

No, this isn't a misread body language thing as such, it was just that I wasn't really paying attention to what she was doing. All I was thinking about was going back to my nice warm bed and didn't one bit feel like going to work.

Saying "You're welcome" like that is probably the best example of the worst passive-aggressive thing a person could ever do.

Yes I've experienced this. I thought the person was just leaning next to a door, against a wall, waiting for someone in the house. After I passed I heard them mutter "I was waiting for you". I said sorry didn't realize. I saw this person a few times over the weeks that passed, and they walked straight at me and behind my back muttered something with an aggressive edge. It bothered me for some time and I ran through all sorts of scenarios in my mind, often leading to me being on the receiving end of violence! In the end, I decided they had possible mental health issues, and to continue with my existing routine, I didn't see them much more and then my daily routine changed.

Other people however, those that like to weaponize politeness, can get stuffed.

^ Reminds me of a time when I was walking along a busy street and a saleswoman type asked me if I wanted one of her book things she was giving out. I made eye contact and politely said "no thanks", but because she had got my attention she barred my way and begged me to have one of her books. So I gave in and took one, and began walking away. But she suddenly yelled "excuse me? You need to pay for it. £3.00." Okay, I was not going to pay £3 for a book that I was never going to read (it was promoting some sort of religion, something I am not interested in), so I gave it back and said I didn't have the money on me.

So, in a way, saying "manners cost nothing" isn't always true lol. Sometimes it's best to just ignore salespeople in the street and keep your head down, because once they get your attention in any way then they'll try and take advantage of your politeness. Although I did get one salesman trying to stop me to sell something and I ignored him and then I heard him say to the people behind me, "ladies, I hope you'll be more polite..." which made me look bad and feel bad. But I just wasn't in the mood to be bombarded by salespeople, it was a busy Saturday afternoon and I just wanted to get home with my shopping.

I hate when people make me feel bad.

Sometimes I find a meme on Facebook that's a smug "shouting you're welcome! when someone doesn't say thank you when letting them by", and all the comments are agreeing and like "yeah I do the same! How dare they not say thank you!"

The only time I might feel insulted if someone doesn't say thank you is when they're looking at you, maybe even glaring, while you're kindly standing aside to let them pass. But if someone looks like they're lost in their own thoughts and aren't really being rude on purpose, I don't take it too personally. I might just shrug and that's it.

Funny how I can actually detect body language better than some (presumably) NT people.

A very long time ago when parents had a bit of hope trying to force me into social normalness they put me in timeout for not saying hi back to complete stranger/customer (in a place customers were not supposed to be) when he said hi and they asked to say it back. Do remember the customer was sort of on my side 'no need', probably embarrassed.

<cut off some weird stuff>

That happened to me just yesterday. I am usually pretty conscientious about saying thank you but it happens. I know it was my fault so hopefully the reprimand will make me more aware in the future.

It happened to me too and I also felt uncomfortable, anxious and sad. I didn't even ask for them to let me pass, I'd have just gone around them. These are the small things tht constantly make me sad in daily life, but I try to let them go.
Another is when people are yelling to me from the car trying to make a point about not paying attention when crossing the road or something, if I'm absent minded in the morning. Luckily I have headphones and don't respond or look at them.

Yes this has happened to me before multiple times so rude of the person honestly and then I start to feel bad that I have terrible manners when really I was just learning and it came second nature to me to say thank you but now I am great about it. Once in elementary a teacher assistant said it when she was letting me use the copier in the faculty room then someone was holding the door for me and I was super out of it and distracted not intending to be rude and my parents would say it to me all the time to remind me to say thank you. It felt rude of them like yeah they did something nice but they said it so passive aggressively and rude and it honestly almost cancels out the nice thing they did in my opinion if all they were looking for was positive validation and now they are being mean. I admit it used to annoy me a lot when others didn't say thank you when I did things for them or customers when I worked customer service but I would never passive aggressively say you're welcome. Now I realize people could be out of it or nonverbal you never know what folks are going through.

If I hold a door open and they stare at me with an unfriendly sort of expression on their face then I might feel a little insulted, though I still wouldn't yell out "you're welcome!" because it's just passive-aggressive behaviour and isn't something I really like engaging in.
But if they go past looking lost in their thoughts then I just understand, or maybe they're shy or worried or could be anything.

My husband's daughter's partner is one of those arrogant people who would yell at you if you're not doing what he thinks is right. Like one time we went into a restaurant with them and he started shouting at the waitresses because they weren't smiling, he yelled "smiling costs nothing, you know!" Then raved that he would not eat in there again. Ugh, there really was no need to show himself up like that over nothing. The waitresses were friendly and not threatening or patronising or anything, so who cares if they didn't physically smile? Maybe they were trained to be serious and stoic when serving customers. But whatever the reason, it didn't bother me. They were friendly enough, and often tone of voice and other muscles in the face can represent an absent physical smile.