Why does it seem already so difficult?

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I do struggle to be optimistic in terms of dating in the 30s, because it feels as though it's already just as hard as it is for those in their 40s, 50s, 60s and so on. It doesn't make me look forward to the future. I can't understand why if I have these concerns why I'm not prioritising dating more and actively looking on dating sites. Dating sites have put me off looking because I keep thinking most people on them are in their 20s and will not be interested in dating someone older. I also barely used to get any messages, or views on them anyway. I would just scroll through and then leave and then the same thing would happen all over again. I feel like if I was having these struggles in my 20s, people will say wait until your 30s as though there is a "second chance" whereas now I'm in my 30s it feels like there is no "second chance" and less to look forward to.

In the battle against loneliness, one should fight where the enemy isn't.

Have you tried Hiki? It's an app specifically for the neurodivergent - autistic, adhd, etc. Has a matching friends/dates thing, and a sort of social media aspect where you can post about things and talk to people that way. The paid/full app is extortionate, but there's some ways you can basically get round the obstacles the free version puts up. I'll go into those if you're interested.

OKCupid has really gone downhill and is far too 'casual' friendly now, but it does still have the 'this is for the oddballs' air to it.

I don't know that there's anything else I'd recommend for an autistic person. I can't imagine being on something like Tinder etc.

Otherwise, before you go looking: know who you are, know what you can and cannot bring, and know who and what you're looking for. Get a few nice pictures, and write a profile that you think would catch the attention of the kind of people you're interested in. If you're actively seeking rather than passively swiping, you might do better. And then it's a matter of time and luck.