uncommondenominator wrote:
Yes.
The time you felt, I think "humiliated" was the word you used, when the clerk told you "save some for the others" when you took a few free samples. Rather than being accountable for your mistake, you blamed them for not putting up a sign. Instead of being offended, a more adult reaction would have been to take the correction, and try to understand WHY you might be expected to take only one. Thinking "they're free, so ill take as many as I want" is how a kid would think. And adult would understand that they can't give them away infinitely, they don't have an unlimited supply, so the more you take, the fewer there are for everyone else. Free doesn't mean take as many as you want. If you did want to take more than one, ASK first, don't just grab - that's also kid behavior. Most kids learn this early in life (take one, ask for more).
Impulsively spending money on whatever desirables happen to be in front of you, dolls or knick-knacks or w/e, to the point where it impairs your ability to save even small amounts of money is another example. Sure, you can spend your money however you want - but that's also still kid thinking, and the lack of self-control is also not very "adult". It's good that you figured out a way to try to make it happen, but you still have to actually do it - and the impulsiveness is still an issue.
Also, whether it's with David and your relationship, or your neighbors and your curiosity about their relationship, you tend to assume a lot, and simply gossip and jump to conclusions, rather than talking to them directly and honestly.
Whether it's marriage, motherhood, or music production, you have a tendency to assume that things are significantly easier than they are.
Your reaction to being corrected, either by the day group fella, or the free sample person, reminded me of your reaction to citing "abuse" for the various parents you've mentioned at stores and parks, who were merely parenting their kids, in ways that made you feel uncomfortable.
Please understand, none of this is meant to insult, but rather explain why you're experiencing some of the things you are, and to help you understand that things like marriage and motherhood are not things to be taken lightly, nor on a whim, for much bigger reasons than "entrapment" or "sunk cost fallacy", and much bigger consequences.
As for the topic, raising one's voice and saying "thats enough" or "you're done" and issuing a command, is structure, but it's not exactly harsh or strict in the same way as being full-throat berated, and having your every action dictated. Sometimes it's time to play, and sometimes it's time to come inside and eat dinner. Sometimes you can have a cookie, but sometimes you also have to eat your broccoli. Kids don't get to decide these things for their own, or they'd never learn to be a functional human being.
Yeah...perhaps I can be a little bit naive about things sometimes most likely as a result of Autism!! !
Out of all of those things you mentioned @uncommondenominator music production would by far be the most
easiest and FUN compared to marriage or parenting!
Even my therapist told me to push marriage and motherhood to the side temporarily until David leaves rehab & focus on my creative projects instead which is a GREAT IDEA!
I know I still act like a kid and I need to change
04 Nov 2025, 3:20 am
