I'm a late identified autistic in my late 30s. The short version is that due to social awkwardness and a lack of support from my family I basically grew up in the 90s/00s internet. I usually had no in person friends. It didn't help that our family moved 3 or 4 times as I was growing up. There's more details like the few online people I did meet in person pushed me away but I'm trying to be succinct.
I didn't really realize what was happening until very recently. My therapist put a label on it: emotionally starving. Especially since several very important online friends feel disconnected to me. So what trickle of social contact I've been getting has started to dry up.
I only ever leave my house for groceries, meds, and 'routine' things like Dr.s appointments. The notion of going out an meeting people in a social context is terrifying and exhausting. There's a lot of mental blockers to just stepping away from my desk, getting into my car, and going to a cafe or something.
I don't know how or where to meet people. Even if I did, it's incredibly frightening and feels like a monumental effort for...what?
I don't know.
What I do know is that this last Christmas I finally realized why the holidays are so miserable for me: it's because I've been lacking that human connection. And I don't know if it's more or less miserable than going out and meeting people.
Has anyone been through this? How do you start from zero?
Thanks
26 Dec 2025, 8:55 am
