Sent to HR for unintentional revealing clothes.
Admittedly, I am kind of at fault for this situation. However, I wish it was handled better.
I have been sent to HR in the past. However, I didn't think I did anything wrong this time. But apparently my shirt was deemed too revealing. Which I will admit I couldn't find my bra this morning and was late to work. I did try wearing 2 shirts but I guess that was not enough.
I wish someone would of at least told me about it instead of getting me in trouble indirectly. Going to apply for jobs for now. Tired of this BS.
Ugh, I hate when people do that. It makes it feel more humiliating for you, and you start to imagine people talking about you behind your back before reporting you.
A similar thing happened to me when I was about 16. I went to a friend's house one summer and had shorts on, stupidly revealing unshaved legs because I didn't conform to that specific gender expectation. My friend had younger siblings. When I got home later that day, my mother took me aside like she had something really serious to say to me. Turns out my friend's mother had phoned her while I was there and spread her concern about my exposed unshaved legs, and that if I didn't want to shave my legs then I should wear trousers (pants). The way they handled it made it feel like I'd committed a crime, and after that I felt more humiliated than I would have done if someone had just told me themselves in a dignifying way, and I could have sorted the situation there and then by borrowing my friend's trousers or having a shave there or whatever.
Yet if I had a penis this unshaved legs thing wouldn't have been a problem.
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My diagnosis story and why it was a traumatic experience for me:
viewtopic.php?f=35&t=416910&start=1056#p9695026
Please notify me if there's a spelling mistake or an obvious autocorrect error in my posts.
All the anecdotes in this thread are ridiculous, if men can have nipples poking through shirts and visible body hair then so can we, it's only fair.
I don't wear bras under opaque tops and don't shave my legs. Bras are not comfortable and shaving is a needless chore. I noticed I faced more criticism over that when I was a teenager? It doesn't really come up now.
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MONKEY 2, 30s boogaloo
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
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Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I have been sent to HR in the past. However, I didn't think I did anything wrong this time. But apparently my shirt was deemed too revealing. Which I will admit I couldn't find my bra this morning and was late to work. I did try wearing 2 shirts but I guess that was not enough.
I wish someone would of at least told me about it instead of getting me in trouble indirectly. Going to apply for jobs for now. Tired of this BS.
Yeah, you didn't do anything wrong, like how can wearing too shirts possibly be 'too revealing'? I could see if you wore something with a low cut v neck where your boobs were at risk of spilling out without a bra or something, but it doesn't sound like that is the case.
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Tis the time to melt the Ice.
Our regulations say I can wear what I want and nobody is allowed to complain (got the diversity part covered nicely)
But also...
I do need to show a professional look at all times (even when not on the job because well... I represent my country).
So no... not allowed... so clear... and 'a professional look' is very open for interpretation.
Add to this that I am encouraged to show of on visibility days (mostly trans/auti but also on some days like remembrance that are mostly a sign only for insiders) and everybody is invited to join Pride...
But we are not allowed to join any form of protest. (Ground for immediate dismissal if they spot you on cameras)
(and be careful with 'pride is a protest' comments)
The general idea seems to be "do not encourage her too much" and as a behind security walls person, I do get away with stuff people that have to face public can not.
With confusing regulations it is a bit hoping not to have an enemy higher up.
Our neighbors write the guidelines for job interviews...
Always wear something freshly washed and never washed/ironed more than twice.
(they also have sewing/fashion trainings... wonder if they learn clothing is worn out after washing twice)
So... if you are out of a job, living on unemployment... you need to wear new clothing all the time...
That is their opinion of decent work approved business attire. Explains why so many clothing stores...
In fairness... The jobs I liked most were those I was wearing my usual clothing. I did 'tone it down' a bit for the current one (something chef denies) but they wouldn't even hire me if I was in a suit (plenty of those around).
Judging by what you write, I doubt it was that revealing (but I do have little clothing sensibilities or fashion sense so this is a bit of a painful topic to me too... ) and just someone looking for something to complain (if he is sensitive about nipples behind a t-shirt, the problem is him really... but what we think doesn't make a difference).
Hope you find better people.
When I went for the interview at my job, the interviewer literally wanted me to come dressed in everyday clothes, as he felt it said more about your personality. So I turned up in my jeans and hoodie. I got the job, even though there were like 5 other applicants that also went for interviews.
_________________
My diagnosis story and why it was a traumatic experience for me:
viewtopic.php?f=35&t=416910&start=1056#p9695026
Please notify me if there's a spelling mistake or an obvious autocorrect error in my posts.
