30 and never dated...would be a waste of time

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AroDweeb64
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23 Jan 2026, 4:17 pm

Especially since i am aro spec and think marriage is a scam at least in America. I also never ever want children adopted or otherwise.

My sister is trying to set me up with one of her clients (hair salon owner). It is a kind gesture but a little ridiculous. Last time I was there she was asking me if I had a type and I just lol'd and said no. She then tells me that she has a heavy set client that is apparently "cute" and then tried to use the backstory that she used to work at blockbuster (I am a bit of a nostalgiatard and had one right up the street from me growing up every kids dream prolly LOL) to make me interested. I mean, thats cool and all but there is literally no point in trying to make me date.

Now that I think of it, I would not have 32k in the bank rn if I even tried to date. I imagine I would have to spend close to 1k per potential partner due to crazy restaurant prices in the US and inflation. I need that money as a backup and for repairs to my childhood home that I will likely move back into as it is all paid off.



Canadian Freedom Lover
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24 Jan 2026, 10:27 pm

Coffee dates are cheap and low commitment. Why not have your sister see if her client would be interested in a 30 min coffee and chat? What's the worst that could happen?

I would suggest choosing a coffee shop close to your home since people are often flaky these days. There is no point in driving more than 15 mins away from your house if you end up getting stood up on a first date.

That's just my two cents on the matter. I don't know you, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

Good luck!

CFL



Juliette
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24 Jan 2026, 11:19 pm

My thoughts are that if you’re 30 & have never dated, and sound as though you have no genuine interest in finding someone, then stay as you are. If it’s something you really wanted, then you’d do it. You’d find a way, and the more natural the way, the better.

In the UK, since covid times, people are no longer going out clubbing. They’ve become so much more health conscious, that I hear 5-6 are shutting down each week. Online can be crazy dangerous. You only need to view the news & real life crime shows to be turned off by meeting up with an online potential partner. The risks & reality far outweigh the benefits, from what I’ve seen. That’s not to say, that some fortunate people, haven’t found a life partner online. But, the risks these days … too high, in my opinion.

If you’re happy without a special someone in your life, why change the status quo? Very different if you’re not. :) If there’s a very genuine want, then, there are ways of forming connections.



Mikurotoro92
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25 Jan 2026, 2:58 am

Also, if you find a partner and get married to them depending on how long you are in a marriage if they pass away suddenly it would be very hard if not almost impossible to recover from the loss!! !

Or sometimes people don't even progress past the dating phase because of their partner's unexpected death

This is why you MUST purposely hold back on investing during the dating stage in order to avoid Sunk-Cost Fallacy corruption!



AroDweeb64
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26 Jan 2026, 2:34 pm

Canadian Freedom Lover wrote:
Coffee dates are cheap and low commitment. Why not have your sister see if her client would be interested in a 30 min coffee and chat? What's the worst that could happen?

I would suggest choosing a coffee shop close to your home since people are often flaky these days. There is no point in driving more than 15 mins away from your house if you end up getting stood up on a first date.

That's just my two cents on the matter. I don't know you, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

Good luck!

CFL


I am just not interested. Knowing how things work nowadays I would likely be expected to drive and pay for everything. That's stupid.



nick007
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01 Feb 2026, 4:20 am

AroDweeb64 wrote:
I am just not interested. Knowing how things work nowadays I would likely be expected to drive and pay for everything. That's stupid.
Traditionally women get paid less than men when working the same amounot of hours. When having kids women are usually the ones missing work like taking maternity leave & being the primary parent. I do agree that the custom is sexist but I do understand why that custom was/is necessary. That said it's generally a very bad idea to pursue a relationship when you are not interested in having one.


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RetroGamer87
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02 Feb 2026, 4:14 am

You don't have to date if you don't want to.


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