Feeling the Urge to Find Love

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Damn it... why do relationships have to be such emotionally draining roller coasters?

We went out on Thursday, first time in two weeks..
It went fine, just fine.
Then, the talk happened. I tell her I'd like the relationship to evolve soon (hinting at becoming partners)
Again, I get the friend talk from her. I literally felt something in my heart. That's rejection.
Later, I realized that I overlooked something in one of these texts..
Unless it was an error, which she often does send wrong words or typos, she pretty much said she talks to other men. As in, actively. If the friend comment was a little punch in the heart, this was a knockout blow.
Why? Because, no more than around 3 weeks ago, she said she wasn't talking to other men. So, if this text is accurate then this is recent activity and would explain why she went dark and was more disconnected from me for around a week. Including one day where she was silent all day long.
When we first met, we talked all day long, so, was she giving someone else the all day talk?
She keeps mentioning the ol' "I'm just afraid of losing a friend" and says that she enjoys our deep talks.
But, at the end of the day, we're men. I am a man who wants a long-term relationship. She wanted the same when we were matched. How much longer do I allow her to keep me in the zone until I just decide that it's been long enough and set myself free?

Thus, I am proving why it's so hard for "aliens" like me to pursue relationships. In my case, I'm too good and too damn naïve for my own good.

If she does value your company, maybe she wants to set you up with a friend?

And it's over

Her health is taking a turn and her desire has been drained. So, while I agreed to be there if she needs a friendly voice, we have mutually decided to end the relationship.

Back to the drawing board..

Of course, I'm absolutely devastated. I feel like this relationship was one big tease. But, I will remember the fun times we had hanging out forever.

The idea of me jumping back into the dating pool right now is terrifying. Of course, I will need some time first. I still have my life/school to focus on.

My commiserations on your...hiccup.

I just botched a fabulous prospect.
My best friend consoled me and insisted there will be others.
I cried myself to sleep and stumbled morosely through the next morning until I noticed 2 new replies on Hinge.
Nowhere near as compatible, but suddenly I changed from "there's no point" to "Maybe..."

Your next chance is just around the corner.