Crush on tattle tale tom

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past two days, no interaction with tattletale tom.

tuesday, tattletale tom was sweeping the whole parking lot with a broom, two separate times.

wednesday, he was sweeping at least one time.

maybe now that tattletale tom has realized that *his* job is endangered, he's been micromanaging me less. (but it could be for a lot of reasons and there is not enough information to determine the reason.)

or maybe i should do more social activities and meet more cisgender males because maybe in the current situation, tattletale tom is the least wrong/bad prospect. which is a pretty low bar.

on the other hand, social activities take time, $$ and energy. and besides, autism and transsexuality and et cetera.

Two weeks ago tattle tale tom told me that I did not have to load the moulding (millworks). Even though it was under fifty pounds. It was over my head

Two weeks before that tattle tale tom had the nerve to tell me that I had to load the plywood even though it was over my head

Tattle tale tom does not outrank me just because he is full time, has been working there eight years, and physically stronger than me

However tattle tale tom does get away with being rude and condescending and annoying to me because he is having sex with the boss

Maybe I will sometimes miss the self righteous annoying boy after I transfer stores

tattletale tom didn't go to work yesterday.

yesterday @ the end of tattletale tom's shift, he and i both approached a pallet and he said "i'll take it. thanks, man."

i said "thank you."

that was the only time tattletale tom and i interacted yesterday.

the schedule says that this week, i only work saturday and sunday. tattletale tom doesn't work on saturday.

the next time i will see tattletale tom is next sunday.

In some ways tattle tale tom reminds me of myself in that he gets easily stressed and wears the same clothes every day. But plenty of insects act like that

But aside from that our personalities are opposite pretty much

I don't understand why and how I could be sexually attracted to that annoying lil boy

"Not everything makes sense"

"Not everyone gets the same consequences"

tattletale tom absent from work yesterday

Tattle tale tom absent from work yesterday (Tuesday)

Wednesday and Thursday and Saturday and Sunday this week I don't work

Friday I work and tattle tale tom doesn't work

Mondays I don't work

Next time I might see tattle tale tom: next Tuesday

Seems like a long time. Especially since tattle tale tom works full time

Home Depot recently cut my hours but it looks like my hours are going back up next year

Next year is just next week

So whatever

I don't want to work that many hours anyways

I was thoroughly enjoying the reduced hours

tomorrow and the day after, i'm scheduled to work. tattletale tom is usually scheduled to work those days and times, per his fixed schedule.

i find it hard to imagine that tattletale tom got made redundant or quit, b/c he seemed to be adapting begrudgingly but successfully to the random, meaningless, and stupid changes of Home Depot and office politics. tattletale tom used to just push the shopping carts and then sit around on the phone and flap his trap @ other lot lizards: lazy boy steve, joe, and so on, and so forth. but lately, tattletale tom has only been on the phone once in a while and briefly. besides, tattletale tom has so many cronies. i find it hard to imagine he could just leave all his lil cronies all of a sudden. but i find plenty of things hard to imagine, and that doesn't prevent them from happening.

maybe i just enjoy having a crush.

pretty much had zero sex drive my entire "life".

only had a couple of crushes in 42 years:
cousin derek
bastian
ucsd jeff j
ucsd casey
prof. structural engineering 120
mister DR civil engineer san diego 2006

haven't had a crush since i told mister DR. (civil engineer 2006 san diego) i was a transsexual. 2006 san diego. and that homophobic idiot had the nerve to tell me "it is 'lying' for you to ask me to call you 'he' instead of 'she' ". (rolls eyes) (puke). that lil cockroach acted all "holier than thou" but when it turned out he was not just "wrong", but homophobic, that overgrown spider could not even be bothered to write me a letter of apology.

trustworthiness is high on my list of values

but whatever.

tattletale tom didn't even believe me when i told him in february that (former) head cashier alicia told me that home depot changed the "correct" locations of the lumber carts.

there is nothing so "great" about tattletale tom. (with the exception of how he had the nerve to go around the parking lot micromanaging me), he didn't do anything unusual. even his name is boring and common. there is nothing unusual, great, or terrible that i know about that wild animal lil boy. but maybe i just don't know him that well yet. thus far. (shrug). i've been working there over five years and he has been working there longer. but we have never just sat around trying to have a conversation about non work related subjects.

neither yesterday nor the day before, was tattletale tom @ work.

i don't know if i want him gone or not. in some ways, he reminds me of myself, except more extroverted.

nobody said he got made redundant or quit. or maybe they did and i didn't hear.

i want closure.

tattletale tom still owes me an apology for having the nerve to micromanage me in the parking lot.

tattletale tom @ work again.

he hasn't said or done anything eventful.

he seems a bit defeated lately.

to think, i thought the self righteous lil boy quit or got made redundant.

the scorekeeping lil "holier than thou" irrepacalble lil boy tattletale tom wasn't @ work two days ago, on sunday

last week lot attendant "SA" told lot attendant Adam that SA is now a full time lot attendant 6am to 2:30pm.

there's no way i could do that. public transportation. besides, cold, raining, dark.

circadian rhythm

but whatever

stupid lil boy or stupid lil boy

don't know if tattletale tom quit, got made redundant or still works there

don't know how he could have enough sick hours to call out work. maybe it doesn't matter b/c he's having sex with the boss

tattletale tom not @ work yesterday

but saturday after work, on my way to the train station, saw the scorekeeping stupid lil boy drive by in a car

i got some extremely strong emotions about tattletale tom. but i don't know if they are positive or negative

mixed and confusing

i don't understand how he could have enough sick hours to take so many days off work. but maybe he's having sex with the boss.

haven't seen tattletale tom since the day it was pouring down raining about six weeks ago.

but last year head cashier angela d disappeared for two months and came back.

so i do not wanna celebrate too early.

and i am afraid to ask anyone about tattletale tom because he is having sex with plenty of servants and bosses and i am afraid that they will gossip to him.

stupid lil boy