anybody else deal with inconsistency in their personality?

Post Reply New Topic

It's kind of difficult to know what I want when half the time I want to dote on obsess over and take care of a girl and the other half I am seriously insecure and attention seeking and need someone to take care of me and pay attention to me. Sometimes I look at pair dynamics and go "wow I don't really know which one of these characters I take on the dynamic of because i kind of act like both at different times." It's really hard to be a consistent person, I've always struggled with it. I guess I need a switch.

Anyone else with aspergers (or anything else) on here deal with acting like a different person sometimes?

I'm sure you've heard this numerous times but look into borderline personality disorder or at least the strategies used to manage it.
Managing is always the first step.

Not really. While I am capable of looking after myself, I still like a man to be there for me, while giving him love and affection in return.

Nah, I have different levels of shyness and boldness around different people but my core personality stays the same. As for wanting to be taken care of in a relationship I do want to take turns and it's not a contradiction to want both.
You've mentioned having contrasting personas in another post, do you have BPD?

Careful about taking on Labels people,even professionals wish to put on you . When you think you have had a personality shift . Please consider what has happened around you , or media you might have digested that may have influenced your State of mind, and how you then respond to situations , around you . Even music can influence how you may appear to others. or a converstaion with someone . Just Sayin' imho.
But your opinion is what matters.

incase of a medical opinion :
... 2 nd opinions by a 2nd completely unrelated Doctor to the first doctors office, just incase ,a Doctor tried to sell you their opinion.( Are a important thing.)

My core personality remains steadily over sensitive which is why I'd rather just appreciate my own company in this conservative republican society.

Well I'm actually getting checked out by a psych this week for a myriad of reasons, I'm not sure if i meet the diagnostic criteria because idk I've known girls with bpd before and i can tell what they have is more intense that what I have because they have these like idk self destructive tendencies and tend to lash out at people. I get infatuated with people then lose interest quickly and have a pretty bad need for attention and validation but I don't really ever lash out at people that's not really something I do, one seemingly consistent thing about me is that i sure am conflict avoidant! i'm wayyyy way too nervous/anxious to lash out at people even if i bottle up a lot of angst towards people.

Is it that obvious???? </3 I've always kind of like thought I had borderline traits because of aspergers in the same ways i have OCD traits because of aspergers but I don't meet the criteria for an OCD diagnosis but I think what i deal with is probably more extreme than what other people with aspergers deal with. Sometimes I think I'm so cute and likeable, why isn't anyone obsessed with me, how do i make people obsessed with me. And others I think I am so mediocre and weird and boring that there is no reason anyone should ever be interested in me. I dunno

In real life I am seriously shy and awkward I am so scared of people most the time I just don't know how to interact with them in the way that I want because I feel pathetic. It's probably because I'm still a girl in a guy's body. Maybe it'll get better later. I wish I could make everyone like me I guess including myself.

You can't make everyone like you, so focusing on that last one seems like the most effective place to invest energy.

At some point one needs to make peace with the idea that not everyone will like them.

just a thought but often people may find someone, who will not or may not appear to be overly dependant on them .
Just incase that situation comes up, when hoping for a good relationship. Needy people can sometimes end up being targets of manipulation, ,if they are just saying the words and not ,having substance behind them ? just a fyi

Yeah, I actually thought a lot about it today...not sure it is the case with you but I probably have RSD(rejection sensitive dysphoria) where I always worry about how I come off and such. Like once I get comfortable I can be pretty chill but over time eventually people will see I don't always hadndle things very well and it certainly leads to like problems with friends/relationships...like I don't even have any friends cause I am afraid to make friends, cause Iknow at some point they will see that I don't handle if I get my feelings hurt well, I retreat or lash out and it's not always appropriate and pushes people away. So Idk I just don't bother really trying to make friends anymore.

LIke idk I can go from chill to extremely upset just cause I took something someone said wrong, it goes away before too long...but by then sometimes the damage has already been done because of how explosive my initial reaction was. LIke sometimes it's not always possible to come back from...but it's frusterating since I try my hardest not to let my emotions get the best of me like that, but no matter what It still happens way too much and it negatively effects my relationships with people including my boyfriend...and I don't want 10 years to end because of this stupid problem I did not choose to be born with but that I have struggled with at least since I was 5. I mean at 5 it was fairly normal but I am 36 and don't need to be more emotionally sensitive than a typical 5 year old, it doesn't help me at all just makes me look like a stupid a**hole.

It's beginning to feel like I have multiple personalities.

Since COVID my aspie self has gone missing in action and a shambling moron now captains my boat.
I suspect that all the wonderful techniques that previously kept a lid on my ADHD have been knocked offline by brain fog.

No more Lightspeed thinking, no more juggling 50 ideas at once.
Being impulsive is no substitute for your mind's eye going blind.

I am far less withdrawn in this state but I feel like I'm approaching people as the village idiot. I now have precious little masking ability.
It's strange to realise that Asperger's and ADHD are each other's coping mechanism.

I might change my name to Algernon.