Make an extremely dark joke.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?

Why don't kids in China believe in Santa Claus?

Because the kids in China are the ones making all of the toys.

They should have a talking doll that says "A little kid just like you made me!"

Every Madea movie could be called "Madea Goes to Jail".

I'm surprised the Dump isn't celebrating his birthday today, on Dec. 25th, due to his Messiah complex.

But then again I'm surprised the Maggats aren't celebrating the Dump's birthday today due to his Messiah complex, either.

Close your eyes. Imagine that you're on a secluded beach. All that you hear is the tide. Imagine that you're a fat, crippled and incontinent German. You're at your mum's and you wake up needing a shower.

A woman was just drifting off to sleep. She felt something heavy on her chest that was about to get down. She opened her eyes and saw Donald Trump. She reached in her night table for her gun and she shot him. Trump turned into a snake and slithered away.

I told my doctor "I keep getting these weird pains in my butt".
Doctor says, "So do I, they're called children".

Why did the British win the war?

The Germans were busy crying into their hankies.

Suicidal people are really angels who just want to go home.

My to-do list for a Dopamine and Serotonin boost:

A: Eat processed food

B: Buy something I don't need

C: Trauma dump on social media

D: Play video games until my eyes melt out of their sockets

E: Go outside and touch grass

F: All except E.

How would Denmark win the hockey game?
If all the Americans had a heart attack at the same time.

How would the Americans be sure to win the hockey game?
If all the Danes had a heart attack at once.

If all the Americans were to have a heart attack, it would make a lot of Canadians happy right now, even if we weren't playing hockey.

What do you call a dead Donald Trump?

A dream come true.