I've managed a whole year without anti-depressants

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I started when I was 18, took them until I was 19 then forgot to renew my prescription and went cold turkey. Spent a year in a living hell, panic attacks came back worse and I was basically a shut-in. I started taking the meds again at 20 and felt a lot better, I took them for 11 years. I didn't need them for that long and they're actually only supposed to be a temporary solution! But forgetting a dose causes bad withdrawals so I was just taking them to avoid that.
I tapered off very gradually every couple of weeks, over the course of about 3-4 months. I did have withdrawals that felt like a milder version of forgetting a dose for a few days. So brain zaps, dizzy spells and that sort of thing and it freaked me out and made me irritable. But they only lasted a week until I got used to each lower dose. When I quit entirely I had the lightheadedness for a bit over a week but it was mild and I could push past it. I actually went on holiday abroad 2 days after my last ever dose lol, not the best timing, felt bad on the way there. But I got used to it enough to enjoy the holiday.

So , have been down thus semi suicidal road for so many years of my life . Over 10. years on the entire formulary
of their available anti depressants, SSRI etc. still mow down to a single milligram of a Tranq . And moved my brain over to Alternazive meds. of many, I had personally heavily research each one of them.( Fragile) health issues . The meds my psyche team gave me. Did not affect me well. Including a mild seizure from Welbutrin. . Tried many alternate things , After awhile of sorting & research found scelatorium supplement that helped alot, Along with a few minor nootropics much better for over 3 years now. (Just a Thought offering )

If you can have a seizure on Wellbutrin I'd be avoiding cocaine.

thank you,, had not even considered cocaine ! side seffects too severe. on any human anatomy , but did experiment with a DMAE product , referred to by Dr Donsbach in his books . Quite successfully . After much self experimintation..
more than pleased for myself , After Three days once perday , in tiny amounts 1/4 — 1/2 a pea sized amount. Had a clearing in my head . Then having experience with things such as SAM—E and noticing a tolerance building up after a week or 2. stopped using it. And found Dr Dirk Piersons work and Sandy Shaws , MD & Phd respectively ..startedrealizing that some very weak experimentation and making notes if effects moved onto accdentally stumbling onto Dr Donbach work . And decided upon the DMAE . started very low ,documented the effects , and knew from experience with other supplements. Duch as SAM E to spread out usuage of it. 2x aweek sometimes 3 . And in a easy to use in liquids .
Even my daily coffee seemed to enhance its affects and the half life of the caffiene effect was tripled for me. And no subsequent burn out. Using almost 20 years now .These are just my personal observations, Especially if a day looks to be a stressful one. Only one dose in the mid to late morning. Have not noticed any sleep disturbances, and no mania.
It is one of the more mild Alternative supplements , I initially studied .""But please if you think of trying these do your own research. ! "" Or as always , medical disclaimer: Seek opinion from your Trusted medical Practicioner .

I cold turkey stopped Lexapro after 8 months in 2020 and have felt like crap ever since.

How does it compare to how you felt before you started them?

Its now over 5 years since I stopped the tablets. I must be doing well now as I only took the things for 10 years .

To be honest, I don't think I feel worse than I did before I started them.