Do your parents worry about you?

Post Reply New Topic

I mean, do they worry what is going to happen to you when they are gone? It's a common fear of the parents of disabled children, especially those who - like myself - don't have siblings who could help them.

My mother expressed her fear in this department several times over the course of the last year. I'm not very independent, on the opposite, I rely on others (my mom especially) in practically every respect, every aspect of my miserable life. For example, I go with her practically everywhere (I go on my very own only to my dentist, that's ALL) and when we are going out, I have to ask her if I can put on this or that T-shirt/blouse/sweater etc. For example, when recently we were going to go to the grill party organized by our cousin, I needed to ask her if I could wear during it my The Walking Dead T-shirt - something that seems pathetic and ridiculous in case of an adult, even mature-aged woman (42 is not 18) who should be much more independent

What is more, my mother was always very, very overprotective - sometimes which only made the whole situation much worse.

My mum hasn't said this herself unless there was a conversation I forgot about. My dad never expressed worries like that when he was alive.
I worry about it though because there are things I still seek help with and seeing older family members either age out of being helpful or literally die means I have fewer resources than I did even a decade ago. And my mum has always been overprotective or meddles and insists on doing everything which makes it worse.
I just hope I actually get married one day and meet someone who is more competent than me and can fill in the gaps in my own knowledge/skillset.

My parents worry about me. They think I'm innocent. An Innocent little Sweet Pea. I'm their little Om Nom.

My parents are overprotective for sure, and i also sometimes worry what will happen when they are gone.

But recently after some health problems i am trying to be more positive towards life. Life is unpredictable and hoping for the best is the best thing we can do

My mother worried about us constantly, but she was a worrier. While I had behavioural management issues, my mother worried more about my brother, because he was more reserved with his problems and nobody knew what he was thinking. Everybody knew what I was thinking and feeling, so it exasperated my mother more than worried her as such.

My father isn't such a worrier, which I'm glad about, because when you have a parent that worries constantly about you it kinda makes you feel guilty for having problems. My dad just gets on with it. He worries about me a little, like with my financial situation, but not as much as my mother would. My mother worried too much.

When I first moved in with my partner I would often stay at my parents house at weekends, and my mother kept fretting that it was an indication we were splitting up. I reassured her that we were not splitting up.

My mother has told me not to worry about what will happen when she's gone and that she's arranged things for when that day comes. But I still worry since all of my other relatives have their own lives and jobs and families and I don't know how they will put time aside for a loser to society like me. Maybe they'll even go against my mother's wishes, she wont be there to defend me, after all.

Yes, my mom does worry about me sometimes, but I think I'm more worried about what comes after she's gone.

Hi All,

I perceive a general lack of confidence that autists often suffer from. This overprotectiveness clearly backfires: it makes you dependent. I'm sure David Attenborough would remark on this like we were a wildlife documentary.

Can I ask have any of you considered asking your parents something like: "I'm worried about how to take care of myself after you are gone, as you take care of me so much now. Can you start teaching me things about how to look after the house, like cleaning and cooking / how to deal with people who come to the door, like which people to expect / how to know where to buy things, like which shops to go to for what?"

Apologies if this is crass of me.

I'd agree with this.
I believe I'd have had a better shot at living independently if I had of "launched" in my early 20s.

By now I'm not ambitious or confident enough to feel it's as viable.

They go through cycles of worrying to not caring. It’s been that way since I was a child.

That is not crass at all. I have tried asking this exact question, esp. İn regards to managing money/ property. But since they don't know i am autistic/ are willfully ignorant about it it gets hard to communicate.

They say " oh it is very easy there is nothing to explain" about everything. It is hard bc i am financially dependent on them, and i am used to them doing everything for me. Despite this, i have come a long way from say 10 years ago. But yeah, this has been an ongoing problem because both my parents are willfully ignorant, on one hand they insist on doing everything for me themselves, on the other hand when i try to communicate i am afraid about the future they say there is no need to worry and refuse to teach me anything like paying bills/ taxes. So they are overprotective AND willfully ignorant.

They get angry at me too when i start to talk about this bc they say they are still young

Parents worry about their kids regardless of if they're disabled or not, but how much they worry definitely depends on the individual. My mom made sure that I could be as independent as possible. I live alone and handle all my own bills, needs, etc. I occasionally need help but very rarely.